Vovochka Anecdotes

Teacher (at a parent meeting):
– Vovochka not only behaves worse than everyone else, he practically never misses a single lesson!

“Vovochka, today we are invited to dinner with the newlyweds,” the father says to his seven-year-old son.
– The young housewife still has little experience in cooking and she will be worried about her first dinner party. Vova, I beg you, no matter how the food tastes, remember to be polite and thank the hostess. When they were already leaving the hospitable house, Vovochka said to the hostess: “Thank you for dinner.” It turned out much better than my dad expected!

At the Russian language lesson. The teacher dictates a sentence to the second-graders: “The children were running behind the school… Then Vovochka holds out her hand: “Marivanna, how can children run behind the school?” She’s standing still!

The lesson is going on, Mary Ivanovna asks the children: “Tell me a word starting with the letter P.” Vovochka diligently stretches out her hand. Mary Ivanna figured, “If I call Vovochka, he’ll say swear words one hundred percent,” and calls Petya. Petya:
– Gingerbread cookies.
– Well done, Petechka, sit down. Now say the word starting with the letter B. Vovochka reaches out her hand even more diligently, but Mary Ivanna again calls another student for the same reason. Mashenka:
– Bells.
– Clever girl, Mashenka. Now say the word starting with the letter R. Vovochka, standing on the desk and resting his hand on the ceiling, is already making incomprehensible sounds and Mary Ivanna, estimating that there are no obscenities for this letter, calls him. Vovochka gets up from her desk offendedly and says: “Gingerbread, right?” Bells? Fuckers, I crap myself!!!

– Vovochka! Why are you so happy?
– We were flooded yesterday!
– What’s good about that?
– The diary drowned!!!

– Vovochka, why do you lie on the couch all day?
– I’m getting ready to become a dad.

Vovochka comes to the pharmacy:
– Give me a package of condoms! “Firstly, this is not for children,” the pharmacist answers, “and secondly, let dad come and take the right size.”
– Firstly, this is not for children, but from children, and secondly, this is not for dad, but mom is going to a resort, and she doesn’t know what sizes there will be yet…

In a lesson at school:
– Children, name a beast that a person cannot cope with alone.
– Tiger! Leo! Elephant !
– That’s right, children. What does Vovochka think?
– Arctic fox, Marya Ivanovna.
– When will a person not be able to cope with this cute fluffy animal?
– When the arctic fox is full, Marya Ivanovna.

Vovochka took a thousand rubles from his mother and said that he was going to his friends to play cards. Two hours later he calls her and says: “Mom, you don’t have to milk the cow, she’s no longer ours.”