Vovochka Anecdotes

– Nine-year-old Vovochka swore near his mother, who was cleaning fish. “Perhaps this is the only case when a person received bream as crucian carp.”

Vovochka goes to her parents’ bedroom in the morning, but the door is locked. Vovochka looks through the keyhole, where her parents are making love. With a gloomy look, he returns to himself: “And these people!!!” And these people forbid me to pick my nose!!!

From a conversation between the boys: “I have my father’s nose, my mother’s eyes,” says one. “And I have my grandfather’s forehead, my uncle’s ears,” said another. “And I have my brother’s pants,” Vovochka boasted.

When Vovochka was asked if he could name the five happiest years of his life, he replied: “Of course, this was when I was in first grade.”

Teacher in a Russian lesson: “Children, today we are starting to study the letter “X.” Well, who knows the words starting with this letter? Here Vovochka holds out her hand. Teacher:
– No, Vovochka, I won’t give you my word, since you haven’t brought your parents to school yet for the letter “P.”

Marya Ivanovna:
– Now everyone will pronounce their favorite verb. Students:
– Sleep.
– Eat.
– Walk. Vovochka:
– So that I don’t get kicked out of class, I’ll say this: improving the demographic situation in the country.

Marya Ivanovna asks the children a riddle: “Children, name a certain dark area that, once recognized by a man, draws him in forever!” The first is “p”, the last is “a”. Vovochka stands up:
– Politics!
– Fuuuf… That’s right!
– Can I tell you a riddle, Marya Ivanovna?
– Come on.
– Who can you, Marya Ivanovna, become in case of extreme material need, and for a man this profession is shameful? The first is “p”, the last is “a”.
– Get out of class, you pig!!!
– No, Marya Ivanovna, you were just late with that. But a saleswoman
– easily!

– Vovochka, come here!
– Yes, dad?!
– Did you take the Kama Sutra?
– I took…
– Did you finish drawing anything there?
– Well, yes.
– Now go help me untangle my mother!

From Vovochka’s biography:
– When Vovochka was born, his dad killed all the storks in the area.