Vovochka Anecdotes

The teacher asks the class:
– Children, which bird does not build nests? “Cuckoo,” Vovochka answers.
– Why?
– Because she is sitting on the clock.

– Children, write down the sentence: “There is a mouse scratching in the corner.”
– Marvann, who is Skr?
– TFR, Vovochka, this is the investigative committee of Russia.

Football players of the Russian national team visited an orphanage. “It’s terrible to see these faces in which not even a shadow of faith and hope is visible,” six-year-old Vovochka said after their visit.

Vovochka:
– Dad, why do you have so much free space on your head?

Vovochka:
– Mom, why does everyone call me Vova the Excavator? Mother: “Shut your mouth, idiot, you’ll scratch the furniture.”

Lenochka yells in kind obscenities: “Mom, mom, Vovochka showed me the facts!” Mom runs into the children’s room and grabs the bastard Vovochka by the ear and begins to carry him around the room.
– He yells that he didn’t show any facts. Mommy is already tired and begins to doubt, maybe he really didn’t show anything? She drops her ear and asks: “Lenka, what did he show her?” She sticks out her palm
– all 5 fingers spread out. Mom:
– That’s all? This is normal, Lena! Lena:
– Yes, okay? Is five facts normal?

The teacher asks me to write an essay in class. 30 seconds after the start, Vovochka gets up and hands her a piece of paper. The teacher thinks: “What did he write?” He opens the piece of paper and sees a single phrase: “First fuck!”

Mom sent Vovochka to the store and said… buy me three bras and two panties! He ran, tripped at the corner, fell and forgot what he needed to buy… He ran home and said: “Mom!” I forgot what to buy!
– Three bras and two panties… He ran and tripped again on the corner, fell and forgot what he needed to buy… He returned… And his mother said:
– Three bras, two panties… I won’t repeat it again…! He ran and fell again, and forgot again! And he thinks what he needs… then he remembered and ran further to the store! He runs in and says to the seller: “Please give me three sissies and two scribes!!!”
– Boy! Are you fucking crazy???
– Yeah! Three times on the turn!!!

– Vovochka, don’t put your hand in your panties!
– Vovochka, don’t pick your nose!
– Vovochka, don’t bite your nails, and in general, move away from the coffin!!!