VTupchienko35

Vovochka comes home with a classmate and says: “Look, mom, it’s Misha!” He is an extraordinary boy!
– Why is he so extraordinary?
– He studies worse than me!

– Vovochka, son, you are already an adult, we decided that it’s time to talk to you.
– Wow! I thought you were dumb.

Vovochka didn’t learn his lesson, the teacher is going to give him a bad grade.
– Marya Ivanovna, I don’t want to scare you, but my father told me: “One more bad mark
– and someone will get hit on the head!”

Mom gives Vovochka a silver spoon at breakfast: “Here, Vovochka, you’ll put it in the tea.” Silver kills germs.
– So, should I now drink tea with dead microbes?

– Vovochka, how did it happen that Mashenka became pregnant?
– A-a-a, her father is to blame.
– ??? “I was just backing away when he came into the room and s-a-a-a-a-k slapped me on the ass…

Vovochka’s parents return from the dacha. There is a pogrom in the house:
– Vovochka, what happened?!
– Friends came. -Where is the piano?
– He gave me a listen.

The grandmother asks her grandson: “Vovochka, do you really fight like that in kindergarten?”
– Of course!
– So, at least you win?
– No, usually the teacher wins.

The biology teacher decided to practically prove to her students the dangers of smoking. He takes a worm, throws it into a glass of nicotine, and immediately dies. Throws a worm into a glass of alcohol
– he dies. Throws a worm into a glass with egg yolk
– the worm lives.
– What conclusion can be drawn from this? Vovochka:
– If you don’t drink and smoke, worms will start in your eggs!

Vovochka walks along the corridor and repeats: “No logic!” Well, no logic! The director comes towards him and asks: “What happened, Vovochka?”
– You see, Ivan Ivanovich, I was kicked out of class because I farted loudly!
– What’s the problem?
– I was kicked out, but everyone stayed there!!! Well, no logic!!!

Vovochka farts loudly in class. Everyone starts holding their noses and looking around. Mary Ivanovna:
– For the last time I ask, who did this? Vovochka reluctantly rises from her desk: “I did it!” Mary Ivanovna, with all her strength, clutching her nose with a handkerchief: “Get out of the classroom immediately, little monster!” Vovochka goes out into the corridor, breathes in the clean air: “But still, it pays to be honest!”