VTupchienko35

– Did you have sex with your wife before marriage?
– No. And you?
– I had one, but I didn’t know that you would marry her…

The insidious artist Arnold, under the pretext of sex, lured girls into the studio and painted.

During a quarrel in a sex shop, the buyer, swearing at the seller, listed the entire assortment of the store.

– How do sadomasochists have phone sex?
– I slowly remove the bear trap from my leg…

– Hello, phone sex welcomes you!
– Phone sex? But there was technical support here!
– Yes, technical support remains. You and I just got bored…

There is no such thing as safe sex by definition. Even a rubber woman can burst at the most inopportune moment and leave you with a stutter for life.

A young family lives in a one-room apartment. Before having sex, the husband decided to check if his son was sleeping:
– Son, bring some water… Silence… The wife says:
– He fell asleep. …after great sex, the couple lies and talks. Suddenly a voice from the darkness: -…how long will I stand here with water?

– Hello, my name is Mila, I want to make you an offer!
– Girl, I’m married…
– You thought wrong!
– Just sex? Agree!
– I’m talking about insurance!
– I have a condom!

A new item in the sex shop is an inflatable Voodoo doll. Now you can not only prick the enemy.

– What do biathlon and sex have in common?
– If you don’t hit, then speed is no longer important.