VTupchienko35

From Vovochka’s diary: “There’s a rumor going around the school that Marinka gave a blowjob in the lobby.” It’s urgent to find out who the Vestibule is.

The class comes to the zoo for a zoology lesson. Teacher:
– Children, the crocodile laid its eggs here, why do you think? Vovochka:
– So old already. He doesn’t need them!

– Today, children, we are going through the letter “X”.
– Vovochka, put your hand down, you haven’t brought dad for the letter “B” yet.

Little Vovochka does not want to go to bed. Dad comes into his bedroom and starts telling stories. He talks for half an hour, an hour… Mom looks into the room:
– Well, did he finally fall asleep?
– Dad fell asleep, fell asleep!
– Vovochka answers quietly.

Mom Vovochka:
– Sit down and tell us some funny story.
– I can’t sit down. The thing is, I just told my dad a funny story.

The teacher comes into the classroom, and there Vovochka is sitting on the teacher’s chair with her feet up on the table. The teacher went nuts:
– Vovochka, how dare you?!?!?! What kind of behavior???!!!
– Shut your mouth! Now you’re going to suck me! The teacher is simply shocked:
– How dare you??!! I’ll go to the director now!
– Go and tell him that his feet are dirty! The hysterical teacher runs to the director: “Can you imagine, Vovochka is sitting on my chair, with his legs thrown up on the teacher’s desk, and says that I will suck him, and your legs are dirty!”
– Which class?
– 5-B Opens the magazine:
– So who are the parents? My father is the chairman of the board of the bank, my mother is our main sponsor. So, well, Mary Ivanovna, let’s go!
– Where?
– Well, where are you going? You suck and I wash your feet!!

– Vovochka, how did it happen that Mashenka became pregnant? “And it’s her father who’s guilty.”
– ? “I just gave it back, and he came into the room and slapped me on the ass…

The teacher asks Vovochka: “What is your jacket made of?”
– Made of cloth.
– Right. What is the cloth made from?
– Out of six.
– Well done! Who gives us wool?
– Sheep .
– So, what animal gave you your jacket?
– Dad.

The teacher addresses the students: “Children, tell me which astronauts you know?”
– Gagarin, Titov…
– That’s right, and who would you like to add, Vovochka?
– My dad and mom.
– You’re confusing something.
– No, I didn’t make a mistake. I woke up last night and heard dad say to mom: “Well, let’s fly?” And mom answers: “Have you put on a spacesuit?”
– No.
– Then the flight is cancelled.

The first-graders line up in the cafeteria, and Vovochka hangs around the teacher.
– Vovochka, why don’t you line up?
– I’m waiting for you. I am your fuse!
– Who?!
– Fuse!
– Probably a bodyguard?
– Yes!