Adult Anecdotes

Three men meet: a Frenchman, a German, a Russian. And they start arguing: who has more freebies in bars. Frenchman:
– Here, you come to a restaurant, order a glass of champagne, and they give you another one for free. German:
– Yes, this is all bullshit, here you come to the bar, order beer, and they pour you two more mugs for it. Russian:
– Yes, you are somewhat weak. Here, you come to a disco, order a glass of vodka, and then they feed you free of charge, give you water, then take you by car to the dacha, there is sex and again for free, and in the morning they take you home for free and they even give you money… A Frenchman with a German:
– Well, never mind, what have you tried? Russian:
– No, I haven’t tried it myself
– my sister told me about it.

A man in the evening after work opens the cupboard and takes out a bottle of whiskey. Wife:
– If you drink even a drop of alcohol, there will be no sex today! The husband sits at the table in the pose of a thinker. Wife:
– What are you thinking about? !
– I think it’s better
– 12-year-old whiskey, or a 50-year-old wife.

You have to try everything in life.” “Everything” usually means drugs, sex and acting in adult films. Much less common are nuclear physics, mountaineering and chess.

The grandmaster was asked:
– What do you like more: sex or chess?
– Chess .
– Why?
– There are more positions.

An indignant newlywed declares to her husband: “Three minutes of sex is, in your opinion, a marital duty?!” This is alms!

A man can have sex as much as he can, and a woman can have as much sex as she wants.

Verkhovna Rada. Two deputies are whispering in the corridor:
– I have a problem here
– after sex, it turned out that the condom was left inside…
– Don’t worry, go take a shit
– it will come out on its own.

A young woman comes to a psychiatrist and says: “Doctor, when I’m in a room with a man alone, I always feel the urge to have sex with him.” What is this phenomenon called? Doctor (unfastening his belt):
– This phenomenon is called a successful meeting!

Guys! You should have sex with the woman from whom you are not afraid to hear: “Darling, I’m pregnant!”