Dark Humor Anecdotes

Trouble does not come alone
– a girl with small breasts is allergic to cabbage.

A resourceful father, to find out if his son was swearing, hit his fingers with a hammer.

Many friends committed suicide after I decided to invite them home. He simply invited them to reset.

An Englishman, an Italian and a Russian are talking about who would prefer to get rid of his mother-in-law in what way. The Englishman says:
– I’ll buy poison and quietly put it in her coffee… Italian: – And I’ll buy her a Ferrari, ruin the brake system – she will drive and crash… The Russian says: – And I’ll buy 10 packs of analgin! – For what?! – Well, why? I’ll pour the tablets into a frying pan, fry them, pour out the liquid – and I’ll get one big analgin tablet! – And what? – I’ll put the tablet on the table in the kitchen, my mother-in-law will come in – “Oh, what a big analgin tablet!” – and at that moment I hit her from behind with an ax, an ax…

There are two workers on the street
– one is digging holes, the other is immediately burying them. A passerby asks them: “What are you guys doing?” Before the first one has time to dig a hole, the second one immediately fills it up! – This is not the second, this is the third. The second one didn’t come to work today – he had to plant trees.

We built a new cinema with a screen on the ceiling. Two hundred people have already choked on popcorn!

In hell all the women will love you, but only as a friend.

In the competition “Russia through the eyes of children”, Nikolai from Surgut won the victory, who laid out the five-meter word “RUSSIA” through the eyes of children.

Mortgage “For a long memory”. Buy a place at the Novodevichy cemetery in installments. Imagine
– you are already communicating with angels, and your relatives have another 15 years to pay their mortgage. A long memory is guaranteed to you!