Kids Anecdotes

To the teacher’s question: “Children, who can explain to me the word “CHRINSONER”? The second-graders unanimously assured Maria Ivanovna that this meant: “Summer is over. Completely…”

Student in class: “I don’t think I deserve such a low grade.” Teacher:
– Me too, but, unfortunately, it’s no longer lower.

Children in kindergarten decided to play car and assigned roles.
– You are the steering wheel, you are the engine, you are the body… But there weren’t enough parts for Vovochka. Crying. The leader of the kids took pity on him and said: “Okay, you’ll be an exhaust pipe.” Run behind and stink.

The couple did not have children for a long time. After 5 years, a child was born, but did not speak for a long time. Suddenly, at the age of 5, he said the first word
– baba. The next day the grandmother died. After another 5 years she said
– grandfather, the next day grandfather died. Another 5 years passed and finally the girl said
– dad, well, father, as expected, bought a coffin and all that, got dressed and lay down in the coffin. Then the wife comes in and says:
– Why are you lying down, you old goat?! Let’s go bury our neighbor!!!

Cheburashka dials Gena’s phone number: “Genka, we’ve received a parcel.” It contains ten tangerines. Eight for me and eight for you.
– Wait, Cheburashka, eight plus eight ten doesn’t work? “I don’t know, I ate my eight right away.”

The husband and wife watched enough erotic movies.
– Sarah, why don’t you scream in bed? Let you scream.
– OK then. Lay down. Sarah:
– Screaming already?
– No, wait a little longer.
– Well, what now?
– It’s still early.
– And now?
– Let’s shout!
– Oh, I don’t have any money! Oh, my children are not fed!

Night. Winter . Stop. A family with eight children and a blind man with a stick are standing at the stop waiting for the last bus. A crowded bus arrives. The wife and children got in, but the husband and the blind man had to cross on foot. They’re both angry. The blind man taps the sidewalk with a stick “clack-clack-clack.” “Listen,” says the man to the blind man, “I’m sick of your stick.” Wow, is it difficult to attach an elastic band to the end!?
– I don’t know about me, but if you had an elastic band at the end, we’d be sitting on a warm bus right now!!!

Two friends meet
– Semyon and Pavel. Semyon has 9 children, and Pavel only has two. Semyon asks: “How do you manage?” “It’s very simple, when my wife and I reach the climax, I pull hard on her pubic hair. She gets scared and… no children! Friends meet after six months. Semyon thanks Pavel for the good advice. But when Pavel wanted to congratulate him, Semyon sadly stopped him: “I don’t know what to do next.” My wife only has 14 days worth of hair left!

– Children, the topic of today’s lesson is the process of reproduction in humans… Children:
– Wow!… Hee-hee!… Ha-ha-ha!… Marya Ivanovna:
– Shame on you! Look how quietly Vovochka and Mashenka behave! Vovochka, have you gone through the “breeding process”?
– We’ve completed the process… Tomorrow we’ll go get the results…