– They say that in Ukraine they want to introduce a curfew for children. “It’s good that after 10 p.m. children on the streets won’t beat adults.”
Kids Anecdotes
Simple anecdotes suitable for kids
The teacher in the class asks: – Tell me, children, what arouses a person’s inte
The teacher in the class asks:
– Tell me, children, what arouses a person’s interest? Vovochka gets up from the first desk and says: “A man is turned on by the sight of a naked woman!”
– Vovochka! Get out of class and come to me with your father tomorrow! The next day, the teacher comes to class and sees Vovochka sitting in the back desk without her father. The teacher asks Vovochka: “Where is father, and why are you sitting in the back desk?” “My dad said that if you don’t get turned on by the sight of a naked woman, then you’re a homosexual and you should stay away from you!”
The beginning of the school year in an American school. The class teacher introd
The beginning of the school year in an American school. The class teacher introduces the class:
– Children, we have a new student
– Shakiro Suzuki from Japan, meet. Now let’s start the lesson and see how well you know American history. Who said “Freedom or death”? There is dead silence in the class. Suzuki raises his hand: “Patrick Henry, 1775, Philadelphia.”
– Very good. And whose words: “The state is the people, and as such should never die”? Suzuki’s hand again:
– Abraham Lincoln, 1863, Washington. The teacher looks sternly at the class: “It’s a shame, children!” Suzuki is Japanese, but he knows American history better than anyone! At this moment, a quiet voice from the back desk: “Fucked the fucking Japs!” The teacher turns around sharply: “Who said it!!!” Suzuki jumps up and rattles off: “General MacArthur, after defeat by the Japanese landing in the Philippines, 1942.” With the class completely numb, an exclamation from Kamchatka: “Suck it!” The teacher walks in spots:
– Whoooo!!! Suzuki immediately jumps up:
– Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office, Washington, 1997. An indignant cry: “Suzuki is shit!!!” And not a second of delay:
– Valentino Rossi at the Grand Prix-Brazil motorcycle race in Rio de Janeiro, 2002!
– blurts out the Japanese! The class is hysterical, the teacher faints, the door swings open and an angry school principal appears:
– F*ck your mother! What a mess this is!!! Suzuki, who did not have time to sit down:
– President Yeltsin, meeting of the Russian Parliament, 1993!
Mom came to pick Vovochka from kindergarten. Goes up to the first floor – a sign
Mom came to pick Vovochka from kindergarten. Goes up to the first floor
– a sign: “Good children, mom looks there and doesn’t find Vovochka.” A little embarrassed, he goes up to the second floor. She looks at the sign: “Bad children,” the mother, already somewhat upset, looks in, and to her surprise, she doesn’t find Vovochka… Fairly sad, she goes up to the third floor: “Well, very bad children, already resignedly looks inside… and there she didn’t find her beloved.” Nothing at all, mom goes up to the top floor and sees a sign:
– Vovochka.
I want to go to Hawaii! Everything is there! Sand for the children, sun for the
I want to go to Hawaii! Everything is there! Sand for the children, sun for the wife… sharks for the mother-in-law.
A woman rides in a taxi. I drove up to the house and remembered that I had forgo
A woman rides in a taxi. I drove up to the house and remembered that I had forgotten my wallet. I told the driver. Without saying a word, he turns around and brings her to the forest. He takes out a sheet and spreads it on the grass. Woman in horror:
– What are you doing? I have three children!
– And I have forty rabbits! Tear up the grass and put it here!
Teacher: Children, tell me some poems! Masha: The priest had a dog, he loved her
Teacher: Children, tell me some poems! Masha: The priest had a dog, he loved her! Vovochka: I found this in the zooporn section!
— Children, how do you understand the saying “The miser pays twice”? Misha, tell
– Children, how do you understand the saying “The miser pays twice”? Misha, tell us!
– Well, for example, we bought an electric meat grinder for 1.5 thousand rubles on sale. It broke and repairs were very expensive!
– Right! What do you want to tell us, Vovochka?
– It happens that a station prostitute is no worse than a foreign exchange prostitute, but the treatment is expensive and lengthy…
The father says to his son: “Vovochka, you are already six years old, and I must
The father says to his son: “Vovochka, you are already six years old, and I must tell the truth, where children come from.”
– Well… At the age of three I learned that there was no brownie living with us, at four
– that Baba Yaga does not exist, at five
– that Santa Claus does not exist. If now it turns out that adults don’t fuck, then what is there left to believe in?!