Kids Anecdotes

– Why do young mothers in Estonia change their children’s diapers only once a week?
– Because the package says “up to 4 kg”

One day, when I was only 4, my dad played war with me and pretended to be dead. I cried, and my mother came running to my cry. Seeing my dad’s winking corpse and me crying, she suggested throwing him out the window. After which I hugged my dad’s pseudo-corpse and killed everyone with the phrase: “Don’t throw it away. Let’s hide it under the bed. I’ll sometimes play with him.”

Shampoo advertisement on TV:
– Your shampoo solves only one problem, but mine solves as many as five! Alina (9 years old) answers the TV: “Well, that means you have more problems than we do.”

Children of deputies, ministers, governors, heads of Gazprom and Rosneft are a priori not subject to mobilization, because they did not serve in the Russian Army. This is all I understood from the Presidential decree.

The main reason for the increase in child cruelty is puzzles with 2000 pieces.

A conversation between a mathematics and physical education teacher at a school for blind children:
– Listen, Semyon Ivanovich, how did you teach the children to play football?
– It’s very simple, I put a bell inside the ball, the children hear the ball and hit it. it’s simple. Then a frightened grandmother with awesome eyes runs up to them and shouts: “Is that where your blind children play football?”
– Yes, but what do you have against blind children?
– Nothing, just a couple more minutes and they kicked my cow…

Misha’s mom:
– Sit down and tell me some cool story.
– I can’t sit down. I just recently told a funny story to my father.

– Mom, today I was in the director’s office, and he asked if I had little brothers and sisters. I replied that I was one child in the family.
– Well done, Petya. Did this upset her?
– Nope. She replied: “Thank God!”

The son shows his father his quarter marks. In all subjects
– “three” and “two”, and in singing
– “five”. Father sighs: “And he still sings.”