Kids Anecdotes

A Jew comes to the rabbi and says: “Rebbe, I feel so bad, my wife is not happy, the children are not doing well at school, the business is not going well, tell me what to do.” Ravin advises:
– Write a poster “IT WILL NOT ALWAYS BE SO” and hang it above the entrance to the house. A month passes, a happy Jew comes to the rabbi and says: “Everything is fine in business and with my wife, everything is fine, the children began to bring A’s from school, maybe remove the sign?” Ravin replies: “Yes, let him hang for now.”

A primary school teacher teaches children imagination and original thinking. Teacher:
– Children, think about what it could be: gray by the road? Children:
– Concrete wall.
– Right. But it could also be a donkey. What’s big and brown in the field?
– Cow.
– Right. But it could also be a stack of old hay… Vovochka (from the back desk):
– Or a pile of crap!
– You, Vovochka, always say all sorts of stupid things!
– Can I ask you too? Teacher (with caution):
– Well, try…
– What could it be
– when you push it in, it’s hard, dry and straight, and when you take it out, it’s soft, wet and saggy? The teacher, flushed, quickly crosses the classroom and gives Vovochka a resounding slap in the face. Vovochka (rubbing her cheek):
– That’s right. But it could also be chewing gum!

A man comes up to a girl who is eating candy and says: “Girl, do you know that eating candy is harmful.” If you get fat, your teeth will turn yellow. -And my grandfather lived to be 106 years old. -What, he ate candy every day? -No, he minded his own business.

During a lesson at school, the teacher drew an apple on the board and asked the children: “What is this?” The whole class chorus:
– Ass! The teacher burst into tears and ran away to complain to the director. A minute later the director comes into the classroom:
– Eh, how could you? This teacher was brought to tears! And they drew an ass on the board!

On the street, my 5-year-old daughter saw an advertisement for the latest circus performance. Reads:
– Elephants! Hurry up to see the bear show… He asks:
– Mom, are people allowed into this circus? Or is it only possible for elephants?

At school. Teacher:
– Today we have a test. Blonde:
– Can I use a calculator?
– Can. Another blonde:
– What about Bradis tables?
– Can. So, children, write down the topic of the test: “Abolition of serfdom.”

Children of sappers eat semolina porridge without touching the lumps.

The children shouted joyfully:
– Bagel, bagel!!! They didn’t know that the bun was mortally wounded as it flew out.

At school they assigned an essay on the topic: “My parents.” A nine-year-old boy wrote: “We get our parents at such an age that we can no longer wean them from many habits.”