Kids Anecdotes

My 2-year-old daughter went to kindergarten for the first time and was taken by her grandmother. The teacher immediately asks the question: “Where are your parents?” The daughter answers without hesitation: “Dad is in the morgue, and mom is in the madhouse.” The teacher is in shock!!! I work as a pathologist, my wife is a psychiatrist.

– What is a synonym?
– A synonym is a word that is written instead of one whose spelling they do not know.

Brezhnev and Nixon with their bodyguards stand near Niagara Falls. They decide to test the bodyguards, and each order his to jump into the waterfall. The American refuses: “I have a family, children!” The Russian rushes in without hesitation, but at the last moment he is intercepted.
– How did you decide to do this?
– Nixon asks him, amazed.
– I have a family, children!

Kindergarten on a walk in the forest. Teacher:
– Children, if we eat berries, then we pick two: eat one, and the other for forensic examination.

Mom is sleeping
– she’s tired… I’m the one who got her! I won’t be discouraged… I’ll go get my dad!!!

In kindergarten, a group sits on potties.
– Lena, are you a sultry woman?
– asks Vovochka.
– I don’t know…
– Come on, get up from the potty! Sultry
– look at the steam coming out!

The kindergarten is getting ready for the New Year. Children are dressed in all white. Vovochka sits alone in the corner and doesn’t get dressed.
– Vovochka, why don’t you get dressed?
– And I’ll dress in all brown and ruin your whole holiday!

– Honey, I’m ready for children.
– But I don’t!!!
– Nothing can be done. Summer is ending, we need to take them out of the village…

The wife is divorcing her husband. The judge asks the lady:
– What is the reason for the divorce?
– Well….
– Does he drink?
– No.
– Drugs?
– No.
– Does he earn little?
– Yes, in general, no.
– Does it hit?
– No.
– Doesn’t care about children?
– He cares.
– Cheating?
– No, what are you:
– Doesn’t satisfy you as a woman?
– No, that’s okay.
– Doesn’t help around the house?
– It helps.
– Then what is the reason?
– You see, citizen judge, he does everything that needs to be done… but… you should have seen the face with which he does it!!!