Vovochka Anecdotes

During an arithmetic lesson, Vovochka is asked: “What is 4 plus 8?”
– 15.
– And 12 plus 7?
– 28.
– It’s strange you think. What is your dad’s job?
– A waiter.

Before the exam, the teacher told the students: “The exam is like in the theater.” You are the actors, I am the spectator.
– Great!
– Vovochka will exclaim. “You can’t do without a prompter in the theater.”

Mom, dad and Vovochka are sitting, watching TV. Vovochka says: “Mom, guess what 3-letter word I wished for, mom slapped me on the head:
– Mom, why did I wish for the word HOME, dad slapped mom on the head:
– You have to think about home, about home.”

– Vovochka, why are your hands dirty?
– Mom asked.
– Because I just washed my face with them.

Vovochka asks dad:
– Dad, what does the word “therefore” mean?
– You see, I am an uneducated person, but I will try to explain to you. How old are you?
– Nine.
– So, 10 years ago I went to the north to earn money and stayed there for three years.
– I understand, dad. Therefore, you are a cuckold.
– Right. And you, therefore, are a bastard…

The teacher asks Vovochka what does India import into our country? Vovochka:
– I don’t know. Teacher:
– Well, think about it, remember what you and your family drink in the morning? Vovochka:
– What, is it really a pickle?!

Vovochka returned with his father from a walk. He picks up the phone and says:
– Dad, mom just left, the phone is still hot…

Dad asks Vovochka: “How are things at school, son?”
– I don’t talk to the father of the double student.

Teacher:
– So, children, today we will conduct our natural history lesson outdoors. The whole class, together with the teacher, went out into the field. Children run and frolic, and not far away there is a herd of cows. Mashenka comes up to the teacher and asks: “Marivanna, why did one cow climb on top of another over there?” The teacher was embarrassed, but began to explain: “This is not a cow, but a bull, he climbed on the cow to see where the grass is juicier, where it is better for him to graze.” Then Vovochka comes up and says: “And my dad told me that when a bull fucks a cow, he doesn’t see the white light!”