After watching a patriotic film, the teacher asks the children who liked which episodes. One was a soldier’s feat. Another was how a nurse saved a wounded man. And Vovochka says: “I liked the drug addict the most.” “What are you talking about, Vovochka, there wasn’t a drug addict there. There was one, he kept taking puffs and said: “You have a good plan, Comrade Zhukov.”

During a lesson at school:
– Children, do you know where electricity comes from? Vovochka:
– I know! From the jungle.
– Why do you think so? “And this morning, when dad wanted to shave, he said: “Those monkeys turned off the electricity again!”

A biology teacher proves to students the harm of alcohol. He takes a worm, throws it into a glass of alcohol
– the worm is dead. Throws another worm into a glass of water
– the worm lives.
– Children, what conclusion can be drawn from this? Vovochka:
– If you drink alcohol, there will be no worms!

The teacher asks the children what they want to be. Well, everyone says, a doctor, an astronaut, an artist… And Vovochka is Santa Claus. Teacher:
– But why? Vovochka:
– That’s why! Cool profession: a week of fussing and a year free!

In short, the teacher asks:
– Children, what is the fastest thing in the world? Children:
– Car… plane… rocket. One stands up and says: “The fastest thing is thought.” Here I am, but in my mind I can be in the village with my grandmother. And then Vovochka gets up and says: “Marya Ivanovna, in my opinion, the fastest thing is diarrhea.” Before you have time to think, your pants are already full.

This means that at school, during the drawing lesson, children draw different things: one girl drew a bear, a boy drew a tree, Vovochka drew a dot. The teacher saw and asked: “What is this?” Vovochka:
– This is panic!!! Teacher:
– ??? Vovochka:
– Well, you see, Marya Ivanovna, my older sister puts a dot on the calendar every month, but here she didn’t do it, so we were in such a panic at home!

– Children, now Vovochka will read to us Mayakovsky’s poem “A Cloud in Pants”!
– What the hell?

In kindergarten, a group sits on potties.
– Lena, are you a sultry woman?
– Vovochka asks.
– I don’t know…
– Come on, get up from the potty! Sultry
– look at the steam coming out!

The kindergarten is getting ready for the New Year. Children are dressed in all white. Vovochka sits alone in the corner and doesn’t get dressed.
– Vovochka, why don’t you get dressed?
– And I’ll dress in all brown and ruin your whole holiday!

Marya Ivanovna:
– Children, write down the topic of the lesson: Leo Tolstoy, “War and Peace.” Vovochka:
– Well, it’s a damn thing! You told my dad this story 30 years ago!