Teacher in class:
– Remember, children, that we live on earth to work. Vovochka:
– Then I will become a sailor.

Dad gathered the family at the table and said: children, I’m leaving for Leningrad, what should I bring for you?
– Only use too much poetry! The daughter is the first to come up and say: Dad is going to Leningrad, he will buy me a scooter! P:
– Okay, I’ll buy you a scooter. Vovochka comes up and says: “Dad is going to Leningrad, he’ll buy me a moped.” But it’s not easy, says dad. If you want it to be easy, it will be easy for you!
– Dad is going to Leningrad, mom’s farmer will be happy! Mom’s crazy is our neighbor, dad will buy me a moped!

Biology lesson. The theme is sea fish.
– Children, who knows why flounder is so flat? Vovochka:
– Because the whale raped her!
– Get out of class!!!.. Children, why do sea bass have such big eyes? Vovochka (at the door)
– And he saw it all!

Teacher:
– Children, I checked your essays yesterday. Everything is fine, but for some reason Vovochka wrote “the birds are flying south.” Vovochka, why the hive?
– Well, how? Everyone cursed, so here are the stewards.

Literature lesson. Teacher:
– Well, children, we read Chekhov’s story “Vanka”. You understand that now, of course, children don’t write such letters. Vovochka stands up: “It’s not true, yesterday I myself saw Izya Shikhman write in class: “Dear grandfather, Solomon Moiseevich, take me away from here…”

At a zoology lesson. The teacher shows the snake to the children: “Well, children, who can tell me what kind of animal this is?”
– Hedgehog !
– No, Mashenka!
– Hamster!
– Wrong, Petya! Well, Vovochka, what do you think? Vovochka, stroking the snake: “This is what the school brought Snake Gorynych to.”

In chemistry class. Children mix different solutions. The teacher asks: “Masha, what color is your solution?”
– Red.
– That’s right, 5!
– Sonechka, what color is your solution?
– orange.
– Not quite right. Sit down 4!
– Vovochka, what color is your solution?
– BLACK!!!!!
– Sit down 2! Class LIEEEEE!!!

There is a social studies lesson at school. The teacher asks the students:
– What types of money are there? One student answers: “Metal.” Another:
– Paper.
– That’s right, children. Here Vovochka holds out her hand.
– There are also wooden ones!
– Who told you such nonsense?
– But dad said that our neighbor bought herself a fur coat for two sticks…

Children talk about what is the fastest thing in the world. Girl:
– The fastest thing in the world is a word. You tell him, but you won’t have time to catch him. Boy:
– The fastest thing is electricity. You press the switch and immediately the light comes on. Vovochka thought for a moment and said: “Well, I don’t know.” I had diarrhea here, so I didn’t have time to say a word or turn on the light!

At the Russian lesson.
– Children write down the sentence: “There is a mouse scratching in the corner.” Vovochka:
– Maryivanna, Maryivanna, who is Vugluskr?