First of September, first grade. Teacher:
– Children, you have come to school! Here you need to sit quietly, and if you want to ask something, raise your hand. Vovochka raises her hand.
– Do you want to ask something, Vovochka?
– No. Just checking how the system works!

During the lesson, the teacher:
– So, children, today we’ll talk about politics. Who symbolizes the largest party in Russia? -???
– Well, who sucks all winter…?! Vovochka holds out her hand: “Oh, I know!” This is the people! Only he sucks both in winter and in summer!

The children went to the museum. Well, the teacher asks them: “Vasenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?”
– Butt!
– Vasya!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Petenka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– Tits!
– Petya!!!!! Get out of class!!!!!!
– Vovochka, what did you like about the statue of Venus?
– I’m leaving-I’m leaving-I’m leaving!!!!!

Lesson in class. The teacher says: “Children, today we will study the new letter “F”!” Name words starting with this letter! Masha gets up and says: “Crane!”
– Well done! Vovochka:
– Ass!
– Wrong, there is no such word!
– There is an ass, but there is no word?!

Russian language lesson. Teacher:
– Children, today we will make sentences that contain the words “probably” and “because.” Children raise their hands. Tanechka:
– I’ll probably go to the cinema today, because dad bought tickets.
– Well done, Tanechka. Sashenka:
– I’ll probably go to the zoo today, because dad works at the zoo
– Well done, Sashenka. Vovochka:
– Grandma took the newspaper and went to the toilet.
– Vovochka, where are the “probably” and “because” here?
– Probably a s#$%, because he can’t read.

The teacher asks: “Children, who knows what vegetable makes your eyes water?” Vovochka holds out her hand.
– Come on, Vovochka, answer.
– From potatoes!
– Well, think about it, how can it be that potatoes make your eyes water? Maybe you meant to say from the onion?
– Mary Ivanna, have you ever been hit in the balls with a potato?

In kindergarten, children are taught to count to six. Everyone counted to six, and Vovochka said: “Marya Ivanovna, but I can go on!”
– Well done, we are all listening to you.
– Seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace.

In kindergarten they ask Vovochka
– Do you keep any animals at home? Proudly answers: “Here we go!” Cat and frozen mackerel!

Vovochka and Tanechka are sitting on potties in kindergarten. The girl asks: “Who are you: a boy or not?”
– Don’t know. “You stand up, I’ll look and tell you.” Vovochka stood up, Tanechka said: “You’re a boy!”
– How did you find out? -Your socks are blue.

A young trainee is teaching a lesson in the classroom. Vovochka writes her a note: “I love you!” The teacher writes the answer: “I can’t stand children!!!” Vovochka answers: “I guarantee there will be no children.”