– Dad, buy me a new laptop.
– No, daughter, you will constantly sit at home, staring at him.
– Well, okay, can I go to my friends for an overnight stay today? Today is a holiday, Kolya is out of prison.
– Do you need a small or large laptop?

– Arabs have polygamy. Why are they allowed to marry several times?
– Because they see the face of their bride for the first time only after the wedding.

Rule of good manners at a corporate party: when sliding under the table, do not forget to politely say goodbye to your colleagues.

Foreman Vasily Sidorov has such a good command of intonation that the phrase “Fuck you!” He can scold, praise, say hello and even express his condolences.

My life is like a Rubik’s cube. On one side it’s blue, but on the other side it doesn’t fold.

In order to look good on the beach in the summer, Lyusya began fattening up her best friend Oksana in the winter.

Dear Russian women! Stop asking Santa Claus for men! Already half of Tajikistan and other former Soviet republics have moved to us!

An itchy nose means drinking. Itches in the groin
– see a doctor. Itching *oops
– to adventure!

As I understand it, heating in the city will be started when all pharmacies fulfill the plan for selling cough and cold products.

A boyfriend came to visit his older sister. His younger brother asks him: “Can you perform magic tricks?”
– No, unfortunately.
– But my dad knows how. He said that you will fly out of here like a traffic jam!