On a crowded bus:
– I said “impudent”, not “stop it”!

Watching how bad Russia has become at prices of $50 per barrel, you can’t help but wonder: how did they live in Russia when oil was not produced at all?

Oh my gosh, a request came to my VKontakte page: “The Bekhterev Psychiatric Hospital wants to add you as a friend.” Damn, we found it after all…

Two little girls are talking: “You know, my mother bought a child, and she is sure that she was deceived.”
– Why do you think so?
– Because she weighs him every day.

Here you are, grandson, spreading buckwheat on bread, and I still remember how we ate it with a spoon.

– Elisha, don’t they tease you in kindergarten?
– No. Varlaam got sick, Ermolai moved to another group, Anisim and Prokofiy are friends with me, and I can tease Poluekta and Fedot myself. Well, maybe Lukerya and Efrosinya, but they are complete fools.

– Let’s go to Greece and see the pyramids!?
– Let’s go to your school, let’s punch your geography teacher in the face?..

It infuriates me when I came up with a witty, caustic answer, but the argument happened two weeks ago.

The son, deciding that his father was already very old and was a burden to him, put him in a nursing home. His five-year-old son asks: “Did you write down the address where you took your grandfather?”
– Do you want to visit him?
– I want to know where I need to take you when you get old…

Having received a loan from a bank, the first thing to do is buy yourself some nice panties! Perhaps these are the only ones you will stay in…