I go to the pharmacy and ask: “Tell me what is better for my husband: validol or valerian?”
– What is the diagnosis?
– Shoes for 30 thousand…

The sofa is being removed from the boss’s office. The secretary asks him in surprise: “Do you want to fire me?”

– I will become a janitor when I grow up.
– What do you want so much? “You can just walk outside all day.”

As I understand it, the option with the Wife and the Mistress was conceived from the very beginning, because the man is missing a rib on both sides.

The water in the river is so clean that you can see all the garbage.

There is a medical examination at the military registration and enlistment office.
– What worries you?
– I’m nearsighted.
– It’s not scary. You will always be in the first trench to see better! Next!

Human convolutions are like cash registers in supermarkets
– despite the fact that a lot of them have been created, it is not a fact that all of them will work.

He took the granny across the road and decided to take her to the stop: “You’re so handsome, you look like an actor.” Married?
– No.
– Don’t get married, the filthy girls are gone.

The hayloft in the village burned down, well, so to speak, the brothel closed.

I lost to my husband at cards of desire. Who knew he was such a pervert?! He made me go to my mother for a week.