Vovochka with dad at the Moscow Zoo. We approached a cage with a huge Siberian tiger. Dad tells Vovochka what a dangerous and ferocious animal this is. Vovochka listened and listened to him and finally asked his dad worriedly: “Pa, but if a tiger breaks out of the cage and eats you…” “Yes, son,” asks dad, “so what?”
– What bus should I take to get home then?…

Parents took eighth-grader Vovochka with them to Thailand, to the island of Phuket. After returning, they ask him: “Time flies quickly, what do you want to do after graduating from school?”
– I want to collect money for sun loungers and umbrellas on Kata Beach.

Little Vovochka went to the bathhouse with his father for the first time. He looked, looked around, then pointed with his finger and asked: “Dad, what is this thing hanging around you?”
– This, Vovochka, is a very necessary thing.
– Dad, does mom have something like this too?
– No, son, mom doesn’t have such a thing. She uses my thing.
– Sent by Vasil Lukash

The teacher asks: “Children, tell us how you helped the front?” Nastya:
– I sent pouches of tobacco to the front. Masha:
– And I was a nurse. Teacher:
– Well done! Vovochka:
– And I brought the shells. Teacher (admiringly):
– Vovochka! You are a real hero! Did they thank you? Vovochka:
– Oh, yes! They told me: “Zer good, Voldemar.”

Moscow. Elite kindergarten for new Russians. A teacher conducts a leadership test for new Russian children. -Who was your grandmother, Nastya? Nastya-“She is from an ancient noble family.”
– And yours, Ninochka? Ninochka-“My grandmother discovered the voice of Alla Pugacheva”-What family are you from, Vovochka? New Vovochka, as always, is the coolest;
– And I was the sperm of Philip Kirkorov.

Literature lesson. Each student must tell some interesting story. Vovochka comes to the board and says: “Delay.”
– What does it mean?
– asks the teacher.
– There is no interesting story here!
– No, yes, Marivanna! Yesterday our housekeeper whispered to my father “delay,” and he answered her: “Interesting story!”

Vovochka got a bad grade. The father puts his fist to his nose and says: “Can you smell what it smells like?”
– I was digging in my mother’s pussy again…

Teacher:
– Vovochka, yesterday we covered interrogative sentences, come up with an example yourself!
– So I leave school, go home, go into the apartment, there’s no one at home, huh?

Schoolchildren were taken to the cinema. After this, during the lesson, the teacher asks the students what they liked most.
– Masha, what did you like?
– I liked the nurse, she carried the wounded man from the battlefield.
– Petya, what did you like?
– I liked the soldier who knocked out the tank with a grenade.
– What did you like, Vovochka?
– And I liked the fat drug addict.
– What other drug addict???
– Well, he smoked his pipe all the time and said, “THE GREAT PLAN YOU HAVE, COMRADE ZHYUKOV.”

Vovochka and her friend are standing near movie posters.
– Well, again, “children under 16…”
– And why, one wonders, did we even get out of bed!?