Sex with a condom begins with a kiss in a gas mask.

The wife returns her husband late from work and says: “I wanted to watch a movie on TV, but I dozed off.”
– What kind of movie?
– “A killer man.”
– So how? “I thought it was about sex, but they showed some miner!”

Two friends meet:
– How are you doing?
– It’s normal, I just got a sore throat, I can’t get better. “I was sick too, my wife cured me with good sex.”
– Is she at home now?

The girl speaks on the phone, and in a raised voice.
– How many times can I explain to you that sex is not a reason for approval of a loan at our bank!

Her participation in sex with her husband was limited to the fact that she spread her legs through her teeth.

Just kill it already. This whole story with oil prices and currency quotes is invented to distract us from true values: sex, alcohol and rock and roll.

– I believe that sex is perhaps the only pleasure that people can give each other for free.
– Well, no. You can bring a blanket.
– Sex is more fun than a blanket. “Sometimes there is such sex that it would be better if they brought a blanket.”

Sex is when the ass triumphs over the mind.

One friend says to another: “I get dizzy before sex!”
– Strange, what do you do with a woman before sex?
– Like what? I’m cheating…

I am a lonely woman, so even in sex I have to rely only on myself.