A good woman’s man is fed, watered, given sex and sleeps. And the woman herself is on the Internet!

Sexology teacher:
– According to statistics, 18% of women constantly want, 23% adore oral sex, 38% regularly cheat on their husbands: Student from the back desk:
– To hell with statistics, we need names, addresses, phone numbers!

Friends share how March 8 passed with their lovers. First:
– It was terrible! Imagine, he took me home, straight to bed, 5 minutes later he came and fell asleep. What a nightmare! Second:
– Oh, everything was like in a dream! We went to a restaurant and drank amazing wine. We went to him, two hours of foreplay, an hour of sex itself, and then another whole hour we talked about everything! Super! At the same time, two men meet on the other side of the city.
– It was a great evening! We immediately went to my place, my brains didn’t compost, we had sex, I fell asleep, slept well, I was in a great mood!
– And I have some kind of horror. I had to drag myself to the restaurant
– the waiter, damn it, brought the most expensive wine. Inconvenient, I had to take it. When we came home, I couldn’t get up for two hours, couldn’t finish for an hour, then couldn’t sleep for an hour.

The wife gives birth to a red-haired child and begs the obstetrician to come up with something, since there were no red-haired people in the family. The doctor calls the husband and asks: “How often do you have sex with your wife?”
– Well, once every 2 months…
– So, admire what you’ve done with your rusty horseradish!

They are going to crack down on those who rent out an apartment or room but don’t pay taxes. This is understandable. And if a man rents a room to a girl, the payment is only sex? Will he have to suck off the tax office a certain number of times?

Before sex, Tina Kandelaki says out of habit: “You have exactly one minute and it starts right now!”

“Sex without love is a sin,” I said to the boss, who had been fucking my brains out for the third hour.

As soon as my wife gave birth, I asked the doctor, “When can we have sex?” Winking at me, he replied: “I’m off duty in 10 minutes-see you in the parking lot.”

For a man, sex is like hunger. If he is not allowed into an expensive French restaurant, he goes to McDonald’s. Well, or he cooks for himself to eat.

Boy, girl, night, sex. She:
– Darling, it’s somehow tight… He:
– I folded it in half…