– Doctor, my daughter is already 15 years old. Is it possible to talk to her about sex?
– Of course, of course. You will learn a lot of new and interesting things!

An elderly couple, husband and wife, sit in the morning and drink tea. The husband turns to his wife:
– Honey, give me sugar. The wife reaches across the table and punches her husband in the face. He is shocked:
– For what, my love?
– This is for 45 years of unsuccessful sex! Breakfast continues. After some time, the husband gets up and when he hits his wife in the face, she falls out of her chair.
– What is this for???
– asks the wife.
– How do you, bitch, know the difference between successful and unsuccessful sex?

– I asked the guy to tell me all sorts of rude things during sex… Result: I cried and ruined sex for both of them
– What did he tell you?
– You’re fat! Borscht is shit! I’m with you out of pity!

I want sex so much that I’m ready to write to the newspaper in the section, not just “dating”, but in the “I’ll give it for free” section

I looked through profiles on a dating site. I found some Larisa, 34 years old, who prefers “sex for money.” I looked at the photo. It became obvious that she would pay.

The best way to lose weight is sex. It is almost impossible to convince women of this, which is why almost all of them are so fat.

The dude comes to church for confession.
– Holy Father, I had sex with my fiancée 15 times a day before the wedding. Is it a sin?
– Yes, my son, lying is a great sin.

“First the wedding, then sex!”
– the witness whispered to the witness in the registry office.

Friends are talking. “I feel so sorry for my cat-he yells and wants sex.” Imagine if you didn’t have sex…
– Horror. No sex, and instead of hands there are paws with claws…

– My wife smears herself with so much oil to tan that every time all my attempts to have sex with her end in one thing: I jump off.