One guy got sick. He went to the clinic, where he was told that he might have cancer. He jumped out of a 5th floor window. Now he may have cancer and two broken legs.

What could be worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?… Being raped and killed.

One little girl pinned pigs, not hair, with a hairpin.

Two guys are sitting on the bank of a river, admiring how a girl is cutting through water skis… Suddenly the girl’s cable breaks, and she begins to drown… One guy, without hesitation, dives, pulls the girl out of the water and begins to give her artificial respiration… A minute later he says: “Damn!” Why does her breath stink so much?!!! Second:
– And I’m thinking… it’s strange… she seemed to be in a swimsuit and on skis, and this one was in a sweater and on skates…

A blind prostitute could distinguish banknotes by smell and clients by taste.

I will always remember my grandfather’s last words…
– “Truck!”

A boy was found with his head torn off and a cigarette in his hand. Father said, father did.

– Oh God! What’s wrong with your figure?!
– Well, I have two children… – So what? Did you eat them?!..

One boy had no arms. So he sits in the kitchen and says: “Mom, mom, I want a chocolate bar.” Mom put it on the table for him, and he:
– Well, give it to me! – Well, take it. – But I don’t have pens. – No pens – no chocolate.

Judge: Why did you shoot your wife and not her lover? Husband:
– Your Honor, it’s easier to kill your wife once than to kill one cable every week.