Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a day. (Aphorisms about Alzheimer’s disease)

The zoo director’s wife got away with everything. She slept on the guard’s coat.

Call to the apartment. They open it and there’s a locksmith standing on the site: “Did you call the locksmith?”
– No. – How? Citizen Petrova does not live here? – But she died 2 months ago! – They give it! They call a locksmith, but they go and die!

If a woman says that she gave you the best years of her life, then this is not a complaint, but a compliment: it means that before you she had the worst years.

– I don’t like people. “You just don’t know how to mock them.”

The boy sat in the dark cellar until he turned blue. The blue boy was taken out by his grandfather, who went into the wine cellar for the same thing.

– Why did you strangle your wife? Was there really no other way out to resolve the conflict? “The first time, Comrade Judge, I wanted to poison her, but the poison did not take her.”

– I want us to always be together. “Is that why you cut off my legs, you fucking psycho?!” “I just didn’t want you to leave me, stupid.”

Seven deadly sins: sociability, activity, desire to work in a team, determination, quick learning, diligence, stress tolerance.

Man is a very strange creature. He can fall from the ninth floor and remain alive, or he can die from a blow with his fist. Therefore, if you threw a scoundrel from the window of a high-rise building, after landing, hit him in the jaw. Well, just in case.