Start of the lesson. Teacher:
– Yes, children! What should I ask now? Vovochka:
– Ask a jerk!

The teacher asks little Vovochka: “What is your jacket and what is it made of?”
– Made of cloth.
– Right; And what is the cloth made from?
– Made of wool!
– Well done! Who gives us wool?
– Sheep .
– Good girl! So what animal gave you your jacket?
– Dad

The teacher gave a topic for the essay:
– Write a story using the names of all the days of the week. Vovochka wrote: “Dad went hunting on Sunday.” He brought such a huge hare that we ate it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and still had some left for Saturday.

Vovochka politely entered the classroom. Mary Ivanna was alone. He took off his pants and lifted Mary Ivanna’s skirt.
– Vovochka, stop it right now!
– What is it? I asked you from the doorway: “Can I come in?” And you answered: “Yes, please!”

Mom and Dad were impatient. They put Vovochka on the window. Mom:
– Vovochka, count the soldiers, and we’ll buy you a sister and give you a chocolate for each soldier. “One, two… three… four,” he looks, a whole company of soldiers is coming.
– Oh, Mommy, your little sister will cost you dearly.

Vovochka tugs at a passerby’s cloak: “Uncle, weren’t you the one who dropped the gold coin here?” He pats his pockets: “Yes, it must be me.” Well, give it here!
– I don’t have one, I just asked.
– Why? “Yes, along with your chervonets there should already be more than twenty thousand lying around here!”

In a physics lesson, the teacher explains what sublimation is, then asks: “Can anyone give an example of a substance that passes from a solid to a gaseous state, bypassing the liquid?” Vovochka, please. Vovochka:
– Peas.

Vovochka comes home from school with a black eye. His father asks him: “What, they attacked?”
– Yes, they wanted to take the watch away.
– So can you identify them?
– Why am I? “Let their relatives identify them now.”

Vovochka comes up to her mother and asks: “Mom, why are you standing at the window when I sing?” Mother:
– So that people don’t think that I’m hitting you!

Vovochka:
– Maria Ivanovna, should the word “butt“ be written together or with a dash? Maria Ivanovna:
– Of course, together, Vovochka, why did you decide that with a dash? Vovochka:
– Well, of course, she has two halves…