During a natural history lesson, Mary Ivanna asks: “Why do storks fly to Africa for the winter?” Vovochka stands up: “Sure thing, blacks also want to have children.”

– Vovochka, why weren’t you at school yesterday?
– And we have an addition to our family!
– Congratulations! Brother or sister?
– New dad!

Vovochka whispers to the teacher:
– Marya Ivanovna, I love you! “But Vovochka,” she says embarrassedly, “I don’t like little children.”
– And we will protect ourselves!

– Vovochka, why did you draw the letter “F” on the refrigerator?
– This is not a letter, this is a snowflake…
– Did you explain this to drunken guests?!

Vovochka, seeing a recently installed sign near the school:
– SLOW DOWN, SCHOOL AHEAD!
– says to himself:
– Fools, or what? You’d think someone was running there!

– Vovochka and Tanya! Where are you walking? Why are you late for class?!
– Mary Ivanna! You can’t even imagine, it turns out that reproducing is such a thrill!!!

Vovochka sits in class and clicks with a ballpoint pen. The teacher reprimands him: “Vovochka, what are you doing?” You’re disturbing us.
– Well, Marya Ivanovna, I don’t understand: the handle is feminine, the core is masculine, but why don’t they have children?
– Get up immediately and go get your father! Vovochka comes home and tells his father that he is being called to school.
– What’s the matter?
– the father is interested.
– Yes, I asked Marya Ivanovna: the handle is masculine, the core is feminine, but for some reason there are no children! The father took the pen apart, looked and answered: “Well, your teachers are bad
– there’s a spiral right here!”

There is a math lesson in first grade. Three first-graders are sitting next to each other and talking. Borya: “Yesterday I lost two hundred bucks to the men at the market.” During the big break, you have to pay it back, otherwise they’ll ruin you, but I don’t have any money… Vasya:
– What, I hit my grandmother on a motorcycle yesterday, and now I’m thinking:
– Should I go give up now, or should I wait for the end of lessons? Vovochka:
– Eh, my neighbor got pregnant, now either get married or pay alimony?

At school, the teacher gives the children the task of writing an essay so that it ends with the words “I have only one mother.” Tanechka writes: “My mother is the best, we spent the summer together, we went to Greece, swam in the sea,… I have only one mother!!… Mashenka writes: “My mother and I go to the dacha, go pick mushrooms, swim in the river… I have one mother!” Vovochka writes: “I come home yesterday, hungry, my mother is half-drunk on the sofa in front of the TV… I go to the refrigerator
– and there are two unfortunate bottles of beer, Well, I took it and drank one…., and my mother shouted:
– Vovochka, bring two bottles of beer!!!, and I told her:
– I have only one mom!!!!

Vovochka and her dad come to a sports store. Vovochka surprised her with dumbbells and said: “Dad, buy me dumbbells, I want to be like Schwarzenegger and I will exercise every day.” The father looked at his son in disbelief, knocked out the check, handed it to the seller, and went into the car. Suddenly he hears his son’s angry cry: “And do you really think that I’m going to drag these damn dumbbells into the car??!!