“I had some luck at school today,” says Vovochka.
– Which?
– The teacher wanted to put me in a corner, but all the corners were occupied.

– Vovochka, give a couple of examples of the destructive effects of alcohol on the human body.
– Why, take your parents to school again?!

– Vovochka, why did you get a D in geography?
– The teacher asked what the indigenous people of Chuvashia are called. Well, I answered that it was chocks.
– And who are you such a fool? Churkis are the indigenous people of Churkistan. And the indigenous people of Chuvashia are dudes and dudes.

At a classical literature lesson. Teacher:
– Who can give an example of a language that no one speaks today, but which is the foundation of other languages? Vovochka:
– HTML.

During an anatomy lesson at school:
– Vovochka, what is the most famous rudiment of modern man?
– Conscience, Irina Yuryevna.

In the lesson:
– Children, who knows the folk proverbs about kindness? Petya:
– An affectionate calf sucks from two queens! Vovochka:
– So, an affectionate girl…
– That’s it, that’s it, Vovochka, sit down!!!

Music lesson. Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell me, which song by Viktor Tsoi do you love most?
– Changes, we are waiting for changes!

Vovochka comes running home all teary-eyed: “Mom!” At school, everyone teases me with “THE SCARY STORY”!
– This is nothing, when you were born the doctor said:
– If THIS moves, shoot!

In the subway, father to son:
– Vovochka, give way to that auntie.
– Okay, dad. And Vovochka obediently climbed off her father’s lap.

Vovochka’s teacher asks: “What does your dad do?”
– Transformer.
– How’s that?
– He gets 220, brings home 127, and buzzes for the rest.