Biology lesson, the teacher takes a huge apple out of the bag, all the children are shocked…
– Children, guess what it is? There is silence in the class…
– Oh children, this is the pride of our science, remember this apple from the Michurinsky garden! Then the teacher takes out a pear, the size of a watermelon.
– Children, guess what it is? Masha extends her hand: “Mar Ivanna, Mary Ivanna, this is probably a pear from the Mechurinsky garden!”
– Well done Mashenka, sit down! The teacher then removes a live turtle from the bag. Vovochka reaches out from the back desk…
– Mary Ivanna, and this is probably the mandavo from Michurinsky Garden!

Vovochka’s mother gave birth to twins, and Vovochka’s father says: “Tell the teacher that you won’t go to school for a week and explain why.” The next day Vovochka returns from school, and his father asks him: “Well, what did the teacher tell you?” “She congratulated our family on the birth of a child.” Father, in an angry tone:
– How is this a CHILD? Why didn’t you tell us we were having twins? “And I’m saving the second one for next week.”

Teacher:
– Well, let’s take, for example, a small, very busy ant. Every day and all day he works and works and works.
– And then what happens? Who knows? Vovochka:
– And then some bastard will take it and step on him…

Vovochka puts on rubber boots, and his mother tells him.
– There is no dirt on the street.
– And I will find it.

Mom, why does Vovochka have such a thing between her legs, but I don’t?
– Daughter, when you grow up, you will have 100 of these things!

– Vovochka, don’t you dare say that word “ass”!
– Why?
– Because there is NO such word!
– How is it
– there is an ass, but there are no words???

A friend in kindergarten asks Vovochka: “When does your sister think about getting married?” “To be honest, always,” Vovochka answers.

– Vovochka, what item would you take with you to a desert island
– an ax, matches, or maybe a good book?
– Mobile phone, Marivanna!

At school:
– Children, come up with a sentence with the expression “It was a little.” Kolya:
– Our Olya almost became a beauty queen! Petya:
– On Saturday, my mother and I almost missed the train. Vovochka:
– This morning Kolyan and I almost died from a hangover, but we almost had…

The class was assigned to write an essay about some unusual event that happened last week. Vovochka began reading his essay: “Last week, dad fell into a well.”
– God!
– the teacher exclaimed.
– Is he okay? “Probably,” answered Vovochka. “Yesterday he stopped calling for help.