The teacher runs into Vovochka: “This is your sister’s handwriting!!!”
– Quite likely, because I wrote it with a pen!

Teacher:
– Vovochka, why are you late again? Vovochka:
– Well, Marya Ivanovna, well, you yourself said that it’s never too late to learn.

Vovochka ran up to the huge dog and began stroking his bushy tail. The mother screams in fright: “What are you doing?” He’ll bite you!
– No, mom, they don’t bite from this end.

Vovochka and his class watched a film about the war.
– Vovochka, what did you like most?
– I liked the drug addict!
– ???
– Well, here’s the one who smoked his pipe all the time and said: “You have a good plan, Comrade Zhukov!”

Vovochka stopped the car on the way to school: “Uncle, give me a ride to school!”
– Yes, for me, the boy is in a completely different direction.
– So much the better!!!

Mary Ivanovna:
– Vovochka, why are you poorly prepared for mathematics? Vovochka:
– Yes, three.point.fourteen.hundredths.of this math.

– Vovochka, what is a fable?
– This is when animals talk to each other. For example, a pig talks to a monkey, that’s how we are now!

In a chemistry lesson:
– Vovochka, what kind of compound is this?
– Sodium hydrocherite!

Vovochka comes home.
– How are things at school?
– parents ask.
– Imagine, Marvanna read us a poem about Pugachikha and Kirkorov today!
– What are you talking about, Vovochka!
– the parents are surprised.
– Well, read it to us. Vovochka begins: “The mistress abandoned the bunny…”

Teacher:
– Vovochka, get out of class!
– For what?
– Out the door!
– Why?!
– On the floor!!!