In class:
– So, children, today we’ll talk about politics. Who symbolizes the largest party in Russia?
– ???
– Well, he sucks all winter…?! Vovochka:
– Ah! People! So he sucks in winter and summer!

– Vovochka, why did you get a bad grade in physical education?
– The teacher said:
– Do you see a goat standing? Cover it with obscenities.
– So what?
– I answered:
– Nikolai Petrovich, I see you well. Your mother is so and so.

The teacher gave the students the task of coming up with a quatrain. Vovochka:
– Can I, Mary Ivanna?
– Please, Vovochka. Vovochka recites this quatrain: “Masha went to the disco.” And she fell off the bridge straight into the river. Because she was looking at a star. And she wet her knees. Teacher:
– Vovochka, there’s no rhyme at the end.
– It was so small.

Vovochka in class:
– Marya Ivanovna, what is the correct way to write
– “economy” or “economy”?
– Considering her condition and my salary, Vovochka, as you wish…

Vovochka, an inquisitive boy, lies with his mother on the beach, turning his head, Mom, why is it that some of the uncles have bigger swimming trunks, some have smaller ones. Mom, turning from her stomach to her back: “Leave me alone, it’s like in life, who is richer, who is poorer.” Vovochka:
– Mom, mom, look, your uncle is looking at you and getting rich.

Mom goes to visit and punishes Vovochka with her sister: “Children, dad will come home from work drunk, you undress him to the waist and put him to bed.” Children:
– Mom, why up to the waist? Mom:
– Below the snake, he will bite you. An hour later the call. Mom:
– Well, kids, dad came? Children:
– Dad came, we undressed him completely and put him to bed. Mom (with anxiety):
– What about the snakes? Children (proudly):
– Don’t worry, mom. The snake was strangled, the eggs were trampled, the nest was burned!!!

In the Sidorov family, mom was unfaithful to dad, and dad was unfaithful to mom. This position brought Vovochka an income unimaginable for a fifth-grader due to the boy’s constant improvement of blackmail technology.

The teacher explains the difference between singular and plural. She asks:
– A woman is looking out of the window… Mashenka:
– Singular.
– What if three women are looking out of the window? Vovochka:
– This is a brothel.

Vovochka turns to the teacher: “Marivanna!” Do you know what I will become when I grow up? A doctor!
– Commendable! “So, Marivanna, what’s the point of correcting my handwriting if when I become a doctor, it will still be ruined?”

There’s a lesson in progress. Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell us who is the chairman of the United Nations?
– Tea Masturban! -Whoooo?!
– Ugh, damn it! I won’t remember! Coffee Anan, Mary Ivanna!