Mom shouts from the balcony: “Vovochka, don’t hit the boy on the head with a shovel, otherwise you’ll sweat and get sick.”

During a fifth grade lesson, a (male) teacher asks: “Children, what excites a person best?” From the first desk, Vovochka answers: “Nothing excites a man more than the body of a naked woman!”
– Vovochka, get out of class, and don’t come to school without your father! The next day the teacher comes to class and sees that Vovochka is sitting on the last desk and without a father.
– Vovochka, why aren’t you in your place and where is your father? “Dad said that if you are not turned on by the sight of a naked woman, then you are gay and should be stayed away from you.”

The teacher meets the first-graders: “Children, tell us who your dad is.” Masha:
– My dad is a manager.
– Fine. What else? Vovochka:
– And my dad is a hacker!
– How is that? “He got coded three times from drunkenness and broke the code three times.

Vovochka to the teacher:
– Mary Ivanna, you give me bad marks, but I will grow up, become a big man and show you.
– Putin, don’t argue.

Dad, what is the alternative?
– Vovochka, imagine, I give you $100, you buy 5 chickens. They lay eggs, there are more chickens, you have a farm… There was a flood and all the chickens drowned! Do you understand, son?
– No dad! What is an alternative?
– The alternative, son, is ducks!

In a Russian literature lesson, Marya Ivanovna says: “Children, you tell me the first and last letters of the writer’s name, and I will guess.” Mashenka:
– P:n!
– Pushkin! Well done, Mashenka, 5. Ring:
– L:r.
– Lermontov! Well done, Kolechka, 5. Vovochka:
– X:y. Marya Ivanovna:
– Get out of class!!! Vovochka, leaving:
– Hemingway, Marya Ivanovna, Hemingway:

Vovochka was late for school. He enters the classroom and is silent. Teacher:
– Vovochka, go out and come in like your father. Vovochka comes out and comes in, slams the door and says: “Well, bitches, we didn’t wait!”

Marya Ivanovna asks the problem:
– In the morning, Masha borrowed 100 rubles from Vovochka, and 50 from Vitya. How much will she have to return to the guys in the evening? Vovochka:
– Well, that’s how the three of us will agree in the evening…

Lesson at school. Children talk about their parents. Petya:
– My dad is a traffic cop, we have a lot of money, we live in abundance. Masha:
– My mother is a prostitute, we have a lot of money, we live in abundance. Vovochka:
– And my dad is a truck driver. If it were not for traffic cops and prostitutes, then we would live in abundance.

Mashenka went to Vovochka to study mathematics in the evening and returned home only in the morning. Parents are in a trance. Mashenka twirls her panties on her finger and says to her parents: “I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a hobby for life!”