The geography teacher points to the globe and says: “Vovochka, find me the North Pole.”
– Nice job, Marivanna! Piri looked and didn’t find him, Cook didn’t find him either, and now I have to find him for you!

In class. Teacher:
– Vovochka, explain to us the theory of relativity. Vovochka:
– Well, look: eggs are boiled at a temperature of 100 degrees Celsius, but in our sauna it was 110
– and everything seemed to be fine!

There’s a lesson in progress. Teacher:
– Vova, tell us who is the chairman of the United Nations? Vovochka:
– Tea Masturban! Teacher:
– Whooo???!!! Vovochka:
– Ugh, fuck! I won’t remember! Coffee Anan, Mary Ivanna!

– Vovochka, don’t go to the disco anymore
– you’ll go deaf!
– Thank you mom, I’ve already eaten.

At school, the teacher scolds Vovochka: “That’s a very bad word.” Where did you hear it?
– My dad says so.
– Don’t you dare repeat it. You don’t know its meaning.
– I know. This means that the car will not start again.

The teacher called Vovochka’s father to school and said: “Your son is absolutely not learning his lessons!” He behaves disgustingly, speaks vulgarities.
– In what sense?
– I asked which animal has the largest eggs and he answered me that an elephant.
– Is this really wrong?
– No! The ostrich has the largest eggs!
– What are you talking about! Is it true? Now I understand why he wrote such sad slow waltzes.

Mary Ivanna:
– Vovochka, in order to achieve anything, you have to study hard! Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanna, you mean how or from whom?….

Vovochka walks along the school corridor and mutters to himself: “Where is the logic? Where is the reason?” The director meets him: “Why aren’t you in class?”
– So they kicked me out of class.
– And for what this time? “I farted in class, and they kicked me out, but they stayed!” So I ask
– where is the logic, where is the reason?

The teacher asks: “Children, who knows where the electricity comes from?” “From the jungle!” Vovochka shouted.
– Why from the jungle? “And when my dad wanted to shave this morning, he exclaimed: “Those monkeys turned off the electricity again!”

Vovochka’s parents sent her to stay with her aunt, who settled in the Congo. The aunt says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, take a bucket and go to the pond for water.” Vovochka goes to the pond, but when he sees a crocodile looking out from there, he throws the bucket and runs headlong back. Auntie:
– Vovochka, where is the water? Where did you put the bucket?
– There’s a crocodile sitting in the pond. He looked at me like that.
– Vovochka, this crocodile has been sitting there for 10 years and has never harmed anyone. So feel free to get water and don’t be afraid of the crocodile, he was probably even more afraid of you than you were of him. “That’s the point
– if he was even more afraid of me than I was of him, it means that the water in this pond has become undrinkable.”