Vovochka is calling her mother in the yard. You go out onto the balcony: “What do you want?” Vovochka:
– Mom, throw away twenty kopecks!
– They will crumble!
– And you wrap them in fifty rubles.

In the first grade, the teacher gives a task: name and describe the most valuable thing that the students know. Petenka stood up and told about his father’s car, Helen
– about his mother’s diamond necklace. Vovochka gets up and says: “Menstruation!” The teacher already choked: “Vovochka!” What are you saying?! Do you even know what this is? Vovochka answers: “I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure it’s something very valuable, because when my older sister announced this morning that she was missing, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and my neighbor shot himself!”

– Vovochka, tell me, do you love our President?
– Yes, Marya Ivanovna, like your parents.
– Why?
– Our president, Marya Ivanovna, like our parents, is not elected!

Vovochka is waiting at the bus stop. Two women next to him are talking. One asks the other, who is pregnant: “Who are you expecting, a boy or a girl?”
– Yes, it’s better to have a girl. A fat man is standing nearby. Vovochka comes up and asks: “Uncle, who are you waiting for?”
– Bus .
– If you give birth, will you let me go for a ride?

Chemistry lesson. Teacher:
– Masha, what color is your solution?
– Red.
– Right. Sit down, five.
– Katya, what about you?
– Orange.
– Not quite right. Four, sit down.
– Vovochka, the color of your solution?
– Black.
– Two. Class! Get down!!!!

Vovochka comes home from school, and his mother asks him: “Well, what was new at school today?” “Our teacher was carrying glue, she slipped, fell and got stuck!”
– What a horror! Well, did you at least tear it off?
– Certainly! And some even TWICE!!!

In class:
– Vovochka, why did you copy the test from your neighbor at the desk?
– How did you find out, Mary Igorevna?
– Yes, to the fifth question Lenochka wrote “I don’t know”, you wrote “me too.”

The teacher talked in class about great inventors. Then she asked the students: “What would you like to invent?” One student said:
– I would invent such an automatic machine:
– Press the button
– and all the lessons are ready!
– What a lazy person!
– the teacher laughed. Then Vovochka raised his hand and said: “I would like to come up with a device that would press this button!”

Little Vovochka examines his genitals with curiosity: “Mom, mom!” Is this my brain?
– No, son. Not yet…

During an anatomy lesson, the teacher asks Vovochka: “Tell us about the structure of the human heart.” “Well…” Vovochka answers.
– The heart has legs.
– How is this so?
– the teacher is surprised.
– Well, Marivanna… When I walked past your window yesterday, I heard from there:
– My heart, spread your legs!