Vovochka looks into the room, and there dad is watching porn on TV.
– What is this?
– the son is interested.
– When you grow up, you will understand.
– Dad, look at what I’ve already grown!

The teacher asks the children to give examples of cycles in nature. Petenka:
– Day, night; Lenochka:
– High tide, low tide; Vovochka:
– Putin, Medvedev.

Maria Ivanovna kicked Vovochka out of class. The director is coming:
– Vovochka, why aren’t you in class?
– The teacher sent for my father.
– Where does your father work?
– In the Central Committee.
– There is no need, Vovochka, to follow your father. Go to class and say that I will talk to the teacher later! Vovochka comes home: “Dad, your central boiler room saved me again today.”

Vovochka comes up to dad: “Dad, go give it to grandma’s mouth!”
– What are you talking about! This is my mother!
– How can my mother do this!

– Vovochka, who was your first teacher?
– Khimichka. In eighth grade.

Vovochka asks her mother: “Mom, what is a flight attendant?”
– This, son, is neither fish nor fowl…
– That’s what my dad told me, they fried it with the whole crew.

In a literature lesson:
– Vovochka, what do you know about Chekhov and Pushkin?
– Chekhov is a city, and Pushkin is a city.
– And who is Tolstoy then?..
– And Tolstoy is a lion!

Vovochka sits by the window and cries. His mother comes up to him and asks: “Vovochka, why are you crying?” Vovochka answers: “The ball flew away.”
– Well, what are you Vovochka! I’ll buy you a million of these balls!
– No, mom. I will never have a dog like Sharik.

Vovochka, all out of breath and excited, bursts into class, a good twenty minutes late.
– Vovochka! Why are you late?! The lesson has been going on for 20 minutes!!!
– Oh, Marya Ivanovna, I was frying potatoes here in the locker room!
– Potatoes? In the locker room? Strange… The door swings open with a noise and a fairly rumpled student appears on the threshold.
– Potatoes!!! Where have you been walking?!

– Vovochka, what are you thinking about?
– Yes, I’m dreaming, Mary Ivanna. If only someone would write a hit song called “Enema.”
– Why else?!
– I would then write on the radio:
– Dear editors, please play “Enema” to our head teacher Stepanida Vasilyevna!