Vovochka is sitting on a bench at the entrance. The grandmother-neighbor comes from the store, comes up and says: “Vova, why are you so sad?” Did you get a bad grade at school or did the guys offend you?
– No, the elevator just doesn’t work.
– Why do you need an elevator, you live on the first floor?
– What if I want to write?

Vovochka comes home from school. Mom asks him: “Son, have you been transferred?”
– Yes, mommy from 3rd “G” to 3rd “B”

Vovochka comes home late, late. Mom asks him: “Vovochka, are you drunk?” Vovochka:
– In the ass!

Vovochka approaches the teacher and asks her: “Marvanna, tell me, does the sun have legs?”
– No. Why are you asking? “And my dad always says: “Sunny, spread your legs!”

– Vovochka, how is your behavior at school?
– By the way, I’m the best at school, that’s why I go there.

– Vovochka, what do you want to be when you grow up?
– President, Mary Ivanovna!
– Vovochka, but for this you need to study!
– Mary Ivanna, don’t dry my brains out! Yesterday I signed up for judo. I’ll get pumped up and tear everyone’s jaws! You’ll see!

Vovochka asks the teacher:
– MaryVanna, what are “greens”?
– Not “what”, but “who”… These, children, are such people… They protect the environment, protect nature… In the evening, Vovochka complains about the teacher to her father:
– Well, damn it, the old people have gone crazy, creating such garbage. He says the green ones protect the environment… “Well, whatever you want,” the father says philosophically. “She’s never held green ones in her hands.”

Late in the evening, Vovochka’s dad comes up to him and says: “Vovochka, did you wash your pussy at night?”
– Yes.
– Vovochka answers.
– Let me smell it. Vovochka gave it. After a while, my mother comes up, and then my sister and grandmother. Everyone asked if he washed his pussy at night. To which Vovochka replied that he washed it. And they asked him to let them smell it. Vovochka gave it. But as soon as grandma passed, Vovochka got tired of it, he went up to his grandfather and said: “Grandfather!” Did you smell pussy at night?
– No…
– Well, na-! On-! sniff!!!

Vovochka comes running home on September 1st after school, approaches her dad and says: “Dad, today we wrote an essay on the topic “How I spent the summer,” and they slapped me with a troyban. Look for yourself
– why? Dad looks up from the monitor, peers at the essay for a long time and answers: “What did you want?!” Offtopic, overquoting…

Vovochka: Marvanna, I probably misunderstand something.
– ???.
– You see, the day before yesterday dad thought that I was very messed up and said that I needed to be spanked mercilessly, and yesterday outside the bedroom door I heard:
– Vasya, why aren’t you going to spank me? “Darling, you’ve done so much wrong that there’s no reason to spare you.”