Vovochka returns from school and says to dad: “Dad, I got a bad mark in music today.”
– Why?
– We sang the song “What a Guy’s End.”
– So what? “Everyone sang like that, and I showed.”

Mom wakes up Vovochka: “Vovochka, get up, it’s time to go to school!”
– Fuck her! Petrov will fight again during recess.
– Vovochka, it’s time.
– I won’t go! Again Ptitsyn will throw a rag for the board.
– Vovochka, you’ll be late!
– No, I won’t go! Again Ivanov will shoot with a slingshot.
– Vovochka, why don’t you go, you’re the school director?!

Vovochka:
– Dad, why does the cow have a boob between her legs, and mom’s boobs between her arms? Dad:
– Because your mother is a fool, and instead of a head she has an ass.

Vovochka stops a passerby on the street and asks him: “Hey, do you have a cigarette?” He was surprised:
– Where is the magic word?
– And in the face?

Vovochka is walking with her mother along the sidewalk. There’s a dead cat lying around. Vovochka asks: “Mom, what is this?”
– This is Vovochka the cat that God took to heaven. Vovochka is in a misunderstanding:
– And then what did you throw away?!

Vovochka thanks her uncle: “Thank you very much for the trumpet you gave me.”
– Did you like the trumpet so much, Vovochka?
– Of course! Mom pays me 2 rubles so that I don’t play during the day, and dad pays me 5 so that I don’t play in the evening.

A mother bathes her children, a brother and sister, in the bathtub. Her little daughter asks her: “Mom, why does Vovochka have this little thing between her legs, but I don’t?”
– Patience, my daughter, patience…

At the Russian language lesson:
– Petya did the back ones?
– No.
– Sit down two.
– Vovochka did the task.
– No, because drunk Petya locked himself in my room and my lessons were there.
– Sit down 4.

Vovochka asks his father: “What is money?”
– Money is everything! This is cognac, taxis, girls.
– And when there is no money?
– Then citro, metro, and… your mother.

Vovochka complains to her father: “Dad, Marya Ivanovna picks on me at school, gives me bad marks, and threatens to leave me for the second year.” Father:
– Come on, never mind, go ahead and pour it.