Dorm room. The parents decided to fuck. They say to Vovochka:
– Vovochka, go look out the window, tell me what’s on the street… Vovochka went to the window:
– Here’s Misha riding a bicycle, here’s Masha making pies in the sandbox. Here is Tanya in the next house looking out the window. Probably the parents fuck too.

Vovochka realized that his mother was deceiving him when, in the third kinder surprise in a row, he came across a yolk and a white.

A Trudovik hanged himself in school No. 26. Everyone is terrified. And only Vovochka is bursting with pride that the teacher chose his stool.

Mom asks:
– Vovochka, why do you always come home late from school?
– Yes, all because of the elevator.
– Is it really not working?
– Works. But it says: “Only for four people.” And we have to wait for three more.

-What animals do you know?
– asks the teacher. “Wolves,” says one. “Bears,” says another. “Ants,” says Vovochka. -Are they animals?
– asks the teacher.
– And you sit with your bare ass in an anthill, then you will find out what kind of animals they are!

So, zoology lesson. The teacher asks: “Children, who can tell me why a gorilla has such big nostrils?” Here Vovochka holds out her hand: “Mar Ivanna, it’s not their fault that their fingers are so wide.”

There’s a lesson in progress. The teacher turns to the student:
– Vovochka, immediately get up and leave the class!
– How good, Mary Ivanna, you reminded me that first I need to get up. Otherwise I would have walked out without getting up.

Marya Ivanovna invited Vovochka’s father: “Your son called me a fucking creature and refused to come to the board!”
– Son, if this fucking creature invites you to the board, then you have to go!

– Oh, you’re cheating!
– Grandma exclaims, playing cards with Vovochka.
– Yes, grandma!
– Don’t you know what happens to those who cheat?
– I know, grandma, they are winning.

The math teacher is sick. There is no one to replace. The director had to ask the physical teacher to give a lesson. The physical education teacher came and thought, now I’ll give you enough problems for the whole lesson. The train started from point A. A train from point B moved towards him. The question is how much beer was drunk. Everyone got lost in thought, and Vovochka raised her hand and said, “You are 24 years old.” That’s right, how did you guess? Because I’m 12 and my mom calls me a half-ass.