There is a lesson in primary school. The teacher asks: “Children, tell us how you live during the crisis, how do you save?” Olechka:
– We don’t eat meat for six months now. Vasechka:
– We brush our teeth only once a day. And Vovochka:
– And we kicked out the mother.
– What are you doing, Vova, how did this happen?!
– Yes, we consulted with the folder
– I haven’t sucked a tit for a long time. But dad is not worth it. And for the neighbor to feed her
– sorry…

Dad comes into the bathroom, looks, mom has become a cancer and is washing something. Dad settled in behind and started playing. Mom moans sweetly. In response to Vovochka’s groan, he looked through the door. Dad felt uncomfortable, but the process was too interesting. He continued and said menacingly: “But don’t shout at Vovochka!” Vovochka:
– That’s right, dad, fuck the cat too so he doesn’t scratch himself!

At school, during the life safety lesson, they study first aid techniques. The teacher asks Vovochka:
– Vovochka, what would you do if your younger brother swallowed the key to the front door?
– I would climb home through the window.

A teacher at school suggested that the children write a short essay and end it with the words “I have only one mother.” Masha was asked first.
– My mother and I were in Spain in the summer. We swam and sunbathed. Thanks for the rest, mom! I have only one mother! Next Petya:
– My mother and I were at the dacha in the summer. We went mushroom and berry picking! Thank you, mom, for the rest. I have only one mother! Well, Vovochka is the last one to reach out. He is called. He reads: “Yesterday I came home and opened the refrigerator to at least eat something, since they don’t give me money for food at school.” But there was nothing in the refrigerator at home either
– only two bottles of beer. Then I took it and drank one bottle. At this time, my mother woke up from bed and shouted: “Valdemar, bring my two bottles of beer!!!” And I answered: “Mom, I have one!”

– Marya Ivanovna, and Vovochka is smoking in the toilet.
– Serezhenka, go shoot him, he has two cigarettes for me and the director.

Vovochka enters class 5 minutes late. Teacher:
– Vova, where have you been?
– I fried potatoes, Marya Ivanovna.
– ?! sit down… In another 10 minutes. Katya comes into the class. Teacher:
– Kartoshkina, where have you been?

Dictation at school. The teacher dictates:
– The crocodile got out of the water and lay down on the pebbles… Helen stretches out her hand:
– Mary Ivanna, should the word “pebble” be written with a small letter or with a capital letter? The teacher became worried: “Children, who else wrote the word “pebbles” with a capital letter? The whole class, except Vovochka, raises their hands. Mary Ivanna is shocked:
– Vovochka, stand up and explain to everyone why “pebble” is written with a small letter.
– If she sleeps with a crocodile, I don’t consider her a person…

Atheism lesson. The teacher says: “Children, there is no God!” So, Mashenka, do you see God?
– No.
– So, what does this mean?
– That there is no God! Here Vovochka reaches out from the last desk. Teacher:
– Vovochka, did you want to add something?
– Mary Ivanna, can I ask Masha a question?
– Well, come on.
– Masha, do you see our Mary Ivanna’s brains?
– No.
– So, what does this mean?

There is a biology lesson in the eighth grade. Vovochka plays around and doesn’t listen. The teacher says: “Vovochka, look carefully at me, otherwise you won’t have any idea about the monkey.”

Mother
– Vovochka:
– Vovochka, I don’t see your school diary. “And Vaska took his parents to scare him.”