In a good year, Papa Carlo collected half a bucket of honey mushrooms from Buratino.

– A real man goes to the doctor only when a piece of a spear in his back begins to interfere with sleep.
– This is all bullshit. The guy will just turn on his side. And he will turn to the doctor when a piece of a spear in his back begins to interfere with his wife’s sleep.

A man to a sunglasses seller: “My wife and I are going to the beach where there are a lot of pretty students.” And I need black-pretty black glasses.
– Why?
– So that my wife doesn’t see where I’m looking.

A man enters the pharmacy and asks the pharmacist: “Do you have any strong sedative pills?”
– Yes, but they are on prescription.
– It doesn’t matter, take a couple of them yourself now, because this is a robbery.

If I see that a person is agitated or upset, I try to yell at him so that he calms down. My parents taught me this.

How would you say in English: “You have a lot of beautiful girls in London”?
– No way.

Correspondence on the Internet:
– Hello, Lucy! How did you go to the cinema? How is Marinka doing? Have you finally found the cat? Is the child not sick? It’s a pity that you and Vadik broke up, he was, in principle, normal. -Who are you anyway?
– And I read your statuses.

Television advertising for Aeroflot, the official carrier of the Russian national football team, includes the slogan “We’ll fly out as soon as possible!”

– So, you don’t have a bathroom in your house? How do you wash?
– On the river.
– And in winter?
– Ta, how long is that winter?!

– Snow Maiden, where are you going, probably to the Pioneer House for the Christmas tree?
– No. To the officers’ house. On a stick.