As you age, it becomes more and more difficult to slip and it becomes easier to slip.

The blonde tells her friend: “Today I bought a drinking bowl for a guinea pig.” Guess what, it has a button on the front. You press it and the water flows.
– Well, guinea pigs are smart animals, they’ll figure out what’s what. You’ve got it figured out.
– My husband showed me…

About women: Be careful, you’re wearing makeup!

God sees everything: when she came to confession, the housing office worker stood in line for two hours at the wrong window.

A man walks into a cafe: “Give me a bottle of soda.”
– With you?
– No, definitely without you.

In Russia they banned swearing, my husband finally stopped talking to my mother.

Women and cats really have a lot in common. They don’t want what you give them, and they don’t say what they want.

– Eat your potatoes, yours.
– But you don’t have a garden.
– We bought a place in the cemetery until we needed it. So, we’re planting potatoes so that they don’t sit idle in vain.

Few people know that the Austrian physicist and theorist Erwin Schrödinger loved Russian fairy tales. He was especially pleased with the phrases “how long, how short,” “apparently invisible,” and, of course, “neither alive nor dead.”

– Do you have a man?
– No. But there is one because of which it doesn’t.