Vovochka:
– Dad, there is a parent meeting at school today, but only for the narrowest circle.
– For the narrowest circle? How to understand this?
– It will be only the teacher and you.

During the lesson, the teacher asks a question:
– What is “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs”? Whose principle is this? Vovochka holds out her hand: “This is file exchange in torrents!”

One day Vovochka asks her mother: “Mom, how was I born?”
– Well, son, dad and I took a glass. He spat, I spat, they put it on the window, and the next morning you appeared. The next day at school:
– Tanya, spit in the glass.
– What are you talking about, Vovochka?
– Well, never mind.
– Ugh. Vovochka also spat and put the glass on the window in his room. At night a cockroach fell into a glass. In the morning, Vovochka comes up to her mother with a glass: “Mom, crush your grandson
– he won’t raise his hand against his son.”

A tearful teacher comes running to the school principal: “I can’t… I can’t work anymore at 6 “B“! They smoke and swear. And Vovochka even promised to rape me today!
– Well, if this one promised, he will definitely do it!..

Biology lesson. Marvanna asks Vovochka: “Vova.” tell me how to distinguish a bull from a cow. Vovka:
– When you milk a bull, he smiles!

Mom leaves on a business trip and says goodbye to the children: “Children, I will be gone for a long time.” What should I bring you as a gift? Boy or girl? Vovochka takes her sister and goes into the room for a meeting. They come out with downcast eyes and approach their mother: “Mommy, we love you very much, we don’t need a gift, it’s better to have an abortion.”

1965, math lesson, topic: percentages. Marya Ivanovna:
– So who can tell me what the percentage of excellent students in our class is? A hand reaches out from the back desk.
– Come on, Vovochka!
– 146%
– Yes-ahh, Churov, it’s good that you don’t work for the Central Election Commission!

Vovochka spies at her parents through the keyhole at night and says philosophically: “And these people forbid me to pick my nose with my finger…

Mom calls her little son from the balcony: “Vovochka!” It’s time to go home!
– Mom, can I have a little more?
– Well, okay, a little bit at a time, and then go straight home!

– Vovochka, what did dad say when he fell down the stairs?
– Is it possible to repeat obscene words?
– Of course not.
– Then nothing.