“Marvanna,” says Vovochka, “is there a grey-brown-crimson color in general?”
– Vovochka, I can’t imagine this. “But I imagined this color when the lipstick on your lips mixes with sperm.”

Dad was getting ready to go to Leningrad. He comes up to the children and says: “Come up with me a rhyme on the topic of what gift you want me to bring.” Anechka:
– Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy chocolate. Dad:
– Well done, Anechka! Vovochka:
– Dad is going to Leningrad, dad will buy me a moped! Dad:
– Well, Vovochka, this doesn’t rhyme, go think again! After some time, Vovochka returns: “Dad is going to Leningrad, Mom’s fuck will be happy, Mom’s fuck is our neighbor, Dad will buy me a moped!”

Literature lesson at school. Marya Ivanovna:
– Children, come up with a proposal about summer. Vovochka:
– Wolves fuck on ice. Marya Ivanovna:
– That’s not right, Vovochka. Now try to make a sentence about winter. Vovochka:
– Wolves fuck on ice. Marya Ivanovna:
– In general, that’s correct, but… somehow it’s not entirely convenient. Vovochka:
– Of course it’s not convenient: they’re fucking on ice. Marya Ivanovna:
– Vovochka two! Vovochka:
– Of course there are two, but WHAT IS THE THIRD TO DO??!!!

Vovochka says to the teacher in a mathematics lesson: “Maryana Sigismundovna, mathematics is not correct.”
– Why is this, Sidorov? “Well, you have three apples on the table, and I only have one lemon in my pocket,” and he takes a hefty wad of bucks out of his pocket.
– Well, if the mathematics were correct, you wouldn’t have such a yellow, sour face.

The young ones looked great! The guests drank the first and shouted: “It’s bitter!” Bitterly! “Yes, rat poison is not sugar for you!” Vovochka thought maliciously, unscrewing the Barbie’s head.

– Vovochka, what was the last name of Gogol’s Levka?
– Anashetorgovenko…
– What-o-o-o?!
– Ugh, sorry. Makogonenko!

During the lesson, the teacher asks the children which of them played and won gambling. Shurik:
– Dad and I collected several coffee labels and won an iron. Mashenka:
– We collected Coca-Cola caps and won a T-shirt. Vovochka:
– And my dad guessed 6 numbers out of 6! Teacher and all the children:
– And how much did he win? Vovochka:
– 7 years with confiscation! Teacher:
– Why? Vovochka:
– Yes, the alarm system was non-standard!

– And the Reindeer said to Gerda:
– Sit on me, girl, and I will take you to the Snow Queen’s tent! What do you think, children, what did Gerda answer? Vovochka holds out her hand: “I know!” I know! She said: “No fucking way!” The deer is talking!!

Mary Ivanna tells the children about the advantages of taking school photos together:
– Look, children, how wonderful:
– In 20 years, you will pick up a school album, look at the photo and say:
– But this is Mashenka
– now a teacher, and this is Sashenka
– now a businessman… Vovochka’s voice:
– And this is Mary Ivanna
– she died a long time ago…

2050 Essay on literature.
– Vovochka, why did you get 3 points?
– I haven’t mastered the spelling, but there are a lot of letters through f.