– Who is your father?
– the teacher asks Vovochka.
– Comrade Stalin!
– Who is your mother?
– Soviet Motherland! -What do you want to become?
– An orphan!

Vovochka comes from school. His father asks him: “Did they call you today?”
– Yes, they will call you tomorrow.

“Vovochka,” says mom, “why did you tell Mashenka that she’s ugly?” She is now sitting and crying. So you owe her an apology for this! Vovochka comes up to her little sister and says: “Mash, please forgive me for being such an ugly person.”

Vovochka is washing with her mother in the bathhouse and notices her curly triangle.
– What is this, mommy!?
– This is such a washcloth!
– Mom answers. “You know, dad’s is better,” Vovochka notes in a businesslike manner, “he has a pen!”

– Vovochka, give proof that the Earth is round.
– Globe, Mary Ivanna…

The school principal, shaking his diary, shouts to Vovochka: “When will you bring your mother here?” Vovochka (indignantly):
– What am I, a pimp to you?

Teacher:
– Children, tell me, who lives in Bosnia and Herzegovina? Vovochka:
– Bosses and Dukes. Teacher:
– Correct! And in Burkina Faso? Vovochka:
– Burkina
– packers.

Russian literature lesson. The teacher asks:
– Vovochka, why didn’t you learn an excerpt from “Eugene Onegin”?
– I didn’t master it, it’s like poetry.

Teacher:
– The topic of today’s essay is “One day at my aunt’s house.” Vovochka:
– I propose to add a little to the topic:
– … my aunt was gone all day.

– Vovochka, how many species of camels are there in nature?
– Two. Dromedaries have one hump and Bactrians have two.
– Are there camels without humps?
– Presumably, yes. But this is already considered ugliness.