Statistics: men have sex 1.5 times more often than women. Question: With whom?

An eighty-year-old man at a doctor’s appointment.
– Doctor, after sex I have some kind of buzzing in my ears, what is it?
– Applause.

Still, it was a bad idea to joke during sex, “They said syphilis doesn’t feel the same.”

A man comes to a brothel, picks up a girl and has sex with her. Then, out of nowhere, the cops burst in with a raid. They lined everyone up in the corridor and began asking questions: “Who are you?” Prostitute?
– No, what are you talking about! I’m a massage therapist!
– And you?
– And I’m doing a pedicure! The man can’t stand it and says: “No, just look at them!” Now it turns out that the prostitute here is me!!!

A guy and a girl are drinking wine. The guy pours it, and the girl tells him: “I don’t need any more, otherwise there’s something strange with my legs…” “What, are they giving way?”
– No, they are moving apart…

Student Sidorov had sex so intensely that he dislocated his hand.

Three men meet: a Frenchman, a German, a Russian. And they start arguing: who has more freebies in bars. Frenchman:
– Here, you come to a restaurant, order a glass of champagne, and they give you another one for free. German:
– Yes, this is all bullshit, here you come to the bar, order beer, and they pour you two more mugs for it. Russian:
– Yes, you are somewhat weak. Here, you come to a disco, order a glass of vodka, and then they feed you free of charge, give you water, then take you by car to the dacha, there is sex and again for free, and in the morning they take you home for free and they even give you money… A Frenchman with a German:
– Well, never mind, what have you tried? Russian:
– No, I haven’t tried it myself
– my sister told me about it.

A man in the evening after work opens the cupboard and takes out a bottle of whiskey. Wife:
– If you drink even a drop of alcohol, there will be no sex today! The husband sits at the table in the pose of a thinker. Wife:
– What are you thinking about? !
– I think it’s better
– 12-year-old whiskey, or a 50-year-old wife.

You have to try everything in life.” “Everything” usually means drugs, sex and acting in adult films. Much less common are nuclear physics, mountaineering and chess.

The grandmaster was asked:
– What do you like more: sex or chess?
– Chess .
– Why?
– There are more positions.