Girl, what sex position do you prefer?
– Above.
– Why?
– I got tired of it
– I got up and left!

– Sorry, but I won’t have sex before the wedding. “I’m sorry too, but I won’t arrange a wedding for the sake of sex.”

Phone sex:
– Guy, are you sure you are over 18?
– Yes, aunt.

An old grandfather comes to the doctor: “Doctor, I have a problem with my grandmother, she’s been lying on the bed for a month, she doesn’t get up, she either moans or growls.” Doesn’t eat, doesn’t drink, is dying. What should I do?
– Well, grandfather, the case is difficult. But treatment must begin with sex.
– Doctor, my dear, why am I an old party member, Lenin died in my arms, I can’t.
– Grandfather, there is no other way. Grandfather came home, smoked, groaned, took a drop of Viagra, washed it down with a hundred, and climbed on his grandmother. Once again, tired and fell asleep. She wakes up, grandma is busy in the kitchen, humming songs, putting on lipstick, lining her eyes, and already dancing. Grandfather sat down and lit a cigarette, lowering his head low.
– Grandfather, what are you doing?
– Well, I could have saved Lenin in 1924…

The Chukchi offered to give the prostitute a sable skin. The girl, having received the skin, was delighted and said: “Come on, Chukchi, again!” “Come on,” said the Chukchi. After sex, he takes the skin away: “However, I wanted to-I gave you the skin.” You wanted
– give me the skin!

– A woman’s hands should tremble from gifts, her legs from sex, and her heart from love…
– But she won’t collapse from resonance?

One man tells another: “My wife and I watched the movie “Titanic” last night.
– And how did it all end?
– Sex. “And I heard that everyone drowned.”
– I don’t know, I didn’t watch the film to the end. We ended up having sex.

The lieutenant slept through his duty in the morning after drinking. His phone is ringing. Pleasant female voice:
– Comrade Lieutenant, do you want phone sex?
– Of course I want to! “Then I’ll connect you with the unit commander.”

– Honey, let’s have sex?
– My son is not sleeping.
– No, he’s sleeping.
– No, well, look:
– son, please bring some water. (Silence)
– Well, come on. Wild sex, violent orgasm, both leaned back in ecstasy and suddenly a voice from the darkness: “And how long will I stand here with a mug of water?”

A hare walks through the forest and hears a voice in the bushes: “Let’s stand in a circle! Let’s stand in a circle!” He looks behind the bushes and sees: hedgehogs lined up in a chain and having sex, and the first one is indignant: “Let’s stand in a circle! Let’s stand in a circle!!!”