The teacher got angry: “Hans, this is too much!” Today you don’t only have notebooks, but even a textbook! Do you know the name of a soldier without a weapon?
– Yes, I know
– a general.

“Sidorov,” says the biology teacher, “name your four-legged friend!”
– Bed!

Children’s motto: “If mom said “No!”, Ask grandma!”

Four-year-old Olenka loves to play with her parents in kindergarten. They are children, she is a teacher. And one day, during the game, Olya will scream: “Children, children, quickly bring the potty, otherwise the teacher will wet herself!”

The husband comes home, the child is in a dirty diaper, bangs the lid on the pan, everything from all the drawers has been dumped on the floor, toys are scattered throughout the apartment in an even layer, the kitchen is covered in porridge, there is no lunch, the refrigerator is empty, the wife is watching TV. The husband asks in surprise: “What is this?!” !
– Dear, every day you come home from work and ask: “What have you been doing all day?” Today I didn’t do any of this.

The grandmother asks a riddle to her grandson: “The red-haired, cunning one will enter the yard and count all the chickens.” Who is this?
– Neighbor Aunt Galya!

This means that at school, during the drawing lesson, children draw different things: one girl drew a bear, a boy drew a tree, Vovochka drew a dot. The teacher saw and asked: “What is this?” Vovochka:
– This is panic!!! Teacher:
– ??? Vovochka:
– Well, you see, Marya Ivanovna, my older sister puts a dot on the calendar every month, but here she didn’t do it, so we were in such a panic at home!

Adults are the same as children, only without the dream of becoming adults.

The Catholicos of All Armenians dies. “My children,” he addresses those gathered around his deathbed, “take care of the Jews more than anything in the world!” Because when they finish with the Jews, they will start with the Armenians!

The Georgian comes to the doctor: “Doctar, dear, prescribe some medicine so that there are no more children.” Seventeen children already, for fuck’s sake! The doctor prescribes him a pack of condoms. Two days later he comes again with flowers and cognac.
– Thank you, dear, I helped you out, I’ll never forget!
– What, has it already helped?!
– Kaneshna! I swallow two grand on abed, go to the toilet in the evening, my ani are inflated, I’m flying like a hole-in-the-wall under a patalka. The children are laughing and dying of laughter! Two chalaveks left, spybasyba tebe, daragoy!