At the end of the year, my father’s belt with buckle was again recognized as the “Best Teacher”!

In confession:
– My son, have you renounced Satan?
– I can’t, Holy Father, I have three children with her.

Cheburashka comes to Gena:
– Gena, they sent us eight oranges! Six each.
– How is it, eight oranges and six for each?
– Well, I don’t know, I’ve already eaten my six.

– Children, now Vovochka will read to us Mayakovsky’s poem “A Cloud in Pants”!
– What the hell?

Mom about children: “Hugging my son, I feel a man’s shoulder. Hugging my daughter… I feel… perfume is smelling.”

– Kindergarten teachers forgot two Moldovan children in the sandbox.
– By evening they had built a dacha, a bathhouse and a swimming pool.

There is a feeling as if your child’s first three grades at school are a competition between parents: who draws, sculpts, glues better…

In kindergarten, a drunken Santa Claus stumbles into the group, followed by the Snow Maiden, in the same state. The Snow Maiden, looking around, saw a corner, lifted up her coat, sat down, and began to urinate. The children are shocked and ask:
– Grandfather Frost, what about the Snow Maiden?! Santa Claus looked back at the Snow Maiden and said: “It’s melting, damn it!”

My 2-year-old daughter went to kindergarten for the first time and was taken by her grandmother. The teacher immediately asks the question: “Where are your parents?” The daughter answers without hesitation: “Dad is in the morgue, and mom is in the madhouse.” The teacher is in shock!!! I work as a pathologist, my wife is a psychiatrist.

– What is a synonym?
– A synonym is a word that is written instead of one whose spelling they do not know.