– Ancient Slavic cities were surrounded by deep ditches…
– What were the ditches filled with?
– Tatar
– Mongols…

A child’s scream is heard from the street.
– What’s wrong with the baby, dear?
– the mother asks her husband, leaning out of the window.
– Nothing special. He just dug a hole in the sand and wants to take it home.

Five-year-old Kolya asks his father: “Dad, do you know how long one tube of toothpaste lasts?”
– I don’t know, son.
– For the entire corridor, hall and half of the balcony…

Two girls (4 and 5 years old). One, admiringly: “Alice, what a smart face you have!” The second, wiping her mouth with her sleeve: “No, it’s just dirt.”

– Father, is this guy probably a teacher?
– Why do you think so, son?
– Because, before sitting down, he looked carefully at the chair.

Teacher to poor student: “And don’t even think about saying: “Yes, I’m not ready!”
– until I finish talking!

Children are playing in the summer cottage. A grandfather sits on the porch of the house, watching… Some time later, a kid runs up to him and says: “Grandpa, grandpa, let’s play with you… You’ll be a fucker!” The grandfather phlegmatically replies: “Let’s go, let’s go
– I’ve already been to you like a fucking woman…

I sent my son to the store.
– Buy sour cream, and buy bread with the change. Returned without purchases. -Where are the purchases?
– There was no sour cream.
– And the bread? -Where can I get change?

Russian language lesson. Teacher:
– Children, today we will make sentences that contain the words “probably” and “because.” Children raise their hands. Tanechka:
– I’ll probably go to the cinema today, because dad bought tickets.
– Well done, Tanechka. Sashenka:
– I’ll probably go to the zoo today, because dad works at the zoo
– Well done, Sashenka. Vovochka:
– Grandma took the newspaper and went to the toilet.
– Vovochka, where are the “probably” and “because” here?
– Probably a s#$%, because he can’t read.

“Well, how forgetful are you, Anna Ivanovna,” second-grader Petya wonders, “you already asked me this, and I answered that I have no idea.”